Double action: The Splinter Cell Conviction Demo

Posted by Kyle Francis in Francisism
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Due to some technical difficulties and generalized stupidity on my part, I won't be able to post the riveting conclusion of my, er, essay on boredom today as I originally intended. I will, however, be able to post some thoughts on the Splinter Cell: Conviction X-Box live demo. So I will. I'm doing it. I'm doing it right now. 

IT'S HAPPENING. 

I realize I'm going to prove, once again, how very boring I am, but even in a game where you can literally punch a man's face through a sink, what I was struck most by was the elegance of SC:C's graphical user interface (GUI) design. Like all it's prequels, the game sticks you in the shoes of Sam Fisher, a Third Echelon (super NSA) covert operative voiced with grave aplomb by Micheal Ironside. Only this time, Sam isn't taking … Read More

Add comment      more in Gaming     |     posted Mar 20th, 2010 at 1:35pm

No Action: Why Tedium Can Work in Games Pt. II

Posted by Kyle Francis in Francisism
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Only the most serious art contains scenes of people being sad in the rain.

Click here to read part one of this essay. Or don’t. See if I care.

When I was a kid, I used to separate people into two categories, showing my affinity for pithy reductionism even at that early age: Lego kids and 3d puzzle kids. Lego kids would build awkward structures out of Lego and populate them with whatever characters they had laying around from a dozen different playsets — spacemen, ninjas, knights… other spacemen. Then they’d play with the things for hours, making laser sounds with their mouths, and finish up by smashing it all to bits, acting as the left hand of the plastic men’s God in some imagined apocalypse. 3d puzzle kids would buy a 3d puzzle of a Star … Read More

Add comment      more in Gaming     |     posted Mar 19th, 2010 at 10:31am

No Action: Why Tedium Can Work In Games Pt. I

Posted by Kyle Francis in Francisism
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I am rarely wrong. That is, I rarely admit that I have been wrong, which is pretty much the same. Was it wrong to purchase a Korean manservant over the Internet? Matter of perspective. Was it wrong to place him in a series of underground MMA fights against his will? No more wrong, I’d argue, than his so-called “job placement organization” lying about his God damn glass jaw. Was it wrong to lie about his weight so he would be pitted against men three times his size, potentially inflating my payout? Ethically, but not morally. Learn the difference, hippies. 

But I’m going to admit that I was wrong now, which is even more out of character, because I’ve never publicly stated the opinion I’m about to contradict. It would be very easy for me to say that I … Read More

Add comment      more in Gaming     |     posted Mar 18th, 2010 at 12:42pm

Stephanie Meyer Invented Werewolves. I guess.

Posted by Kyle Francis in Francisism
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I can offer no commentary on this that makes it any funnier. And so, here is a portion of a letter recently recieved by Latino Review concerning the new Benicio Del Toro film, The Wolfman. The letter was written by Kayla Patterson, who is a, ahem, devout Twilight fan:

"This movie was a complete waste and I feel that it offends ALL Twilight Fans around the world, that including myself. For one, it was a COMPLETE remaking of the Wolf Pack from the Twilight Saga: New Moon. It gives the werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog. I actually started to like werewolves after seeing Jacob Black and all his awesomeness on the big screen at the movies. That was until I saw your crappy remake of what you call to be … Read More

Comments (2)      more in Film Features     |     posted Feb 19th, 2010 at 4:06pm

Batman as you've never seen him before: A Bird

Posted by Kyle Francis in Francisism
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Those keeping up with the Dark Knight's current DC comics adventurizing will get the second level of this awesome t-shirt, but I think anyone can appreciate it based on the sheer strength of its adorableness.

(via Comics Alliance)

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Add comment      more in Books     |     posted Feb 19th, 2010 at 3:19pm

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