Why hello FFWD readers. My, you're looking lovely today... Okay. Alright. I know that isn't going to work. You're much to smart to be won over by petty flattery. I should have known better. It was disrespectful to even try. You know and I know that I got some splainin' to do.
As I'm sure all six of you noticed, I've been AWOL for about a month, and I left without so much as a how-d'ya-do. I've been wandering around Italy for the past four weeks, looking at paintings, wandering through cathedrals, and eating excellent food, all while you've been sitting there, staring into the warm glow of your monitor, pawing feebly at a new animated Mel Gibson gif and wondering why, Kyle? Why did you abandon us?
Well, Ive returned, and to show you my contrition, I've brought you … Read More
This has been bouncing around the Internet all day with various theories attached, but here's real skinny (as far as I can suss). It's an on-spec proof-of-concept by Kevin Tancharoen (whose sister, Maurissa, was one of the writers on Dr. Horrible and Dollhouse) for his vision of what an adult-oriented Mortal Kombat movie would look like. Turns out it looks a lot like The Dark Knight. Which actually might not be the worst thing, considering he's trying to sell the pitch to Warner.
But Kyle, what do you think of it?
Glad you asked.
Basically, I like it. At first I didn't think the whole Johnny Cage-as-action-hero-cum-undercover-cop thing really fit with the tone of pulp verisimilitude Tancharoen was going for, but I started getting a much … Read More
This is a thing that exists. Unfortunately, as a male writer who spends a lot of time playing (and then applauding, often in print) games that glorify typical male power fantasies, there isn't really a lot I feel comfortable saying about it.
Except that maybe you should go take a look. (Game requires you to install the Unity web plugin).
[Hat tip: Leigh Alexander]Read More
I am going to stop writing about Red Dead Redemption at some point, but not any time soon. Between the game's super-slick appropriation of Spaghetti western tropes and heartbreakingly beautiful ending, I've got at least one more blog post and a column that demand to be wrung from my brain. So I will endeavor to keep this one short.
John Hilcoat, the director of my favourite contemporary film western, The Proposition, has made a machinima short film using Red Dead Redemption that is going to be airing this Saturday evening (May 29th) on FOX. Hilcoat also directed an adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's The Road, and an obscure Australian film I've been trying to track down for years called To Have and to Hold. In short: This is very, very … Read More
Wow, three posts in one day? Why Kyle, how do you do it?
Well, ever since starting my latest course of Finnigan and Sons Double-Strength Nerve Tonic, I've found I have the strength, endurance and moral fortitude of ten men!
Anyway. Yes. This post is about podcasts. Specifically, podcasts in which myself and FFWD freelancers Garth Paulson, Ben Hoffman and Jon Roe talk about nerd stuff you like. And because there is only one such podcast in existence that meets those criteria, I suppose I didn't really need to pluralize.
The podcast in question is called Read, Listen, Watch, Play, and was done, ostensibly, for this comedy website myself and the aformentioned freelancers started, but haven't actually done much with (yet). In this first … Read More
Click here to read Part I of this story, if you like a) context and/or b) dull academic blather interspersed with stupid jokes. Read on if you crave only sweet, nourishing lists.
5) It was a bet made with the imaginary spectre of Sergio Leone whose anachronistic clothing and manner would understandably frighten a simple bandit-cum-rancher.
“Hey-a, Jon-a Marsden.”
“Sweet mother Mary I’ve done-gone and shit my under-onesie again.”
“Don’t-a be-a alarmed-a. You-a see, it is-a not so unusual I am-a here, seeing as so much-a of this-a world—including-a you, John—has-a been pretty much-a lifted wholesale-a from one-a of my movies-a.”
“Hold on now, pard. I’m just … Read More
Like any self-respecting nerd, many of my Elementary school lunch hours were spent playing videogames in the computer lab. There was Scorched Earth, Archon and Quest for Glory. There was a multiplayer space-dogfighter I can’t recall the name of. But mostly—when we could reasonably guarantee we wouldn’t be intruded upon by a teacher—there was GTA.
The first two GTA games were my first experience with open world gaming, and even then, I was playing the awful backseat designer. They were fun, sure, but they were basically still just asteroids with a series of elaborate “off” switches. You wanted the enemies to come? You started shooting. Flick. You wanted them to stop? You got your car spraypainted. Flick. You could upgrade your weapons … Read More
Oh, wow. So, it turns out one of my favourite videogames of the past five years ever is now available for the cost of a few gigs bandwidth. Which is to say: Portal is now completely free (for a few days). And you can even get it for your Mac, you bohemian, you.
If you're still reading this, I'm assuming it's because you don't know what Portal is, and/or you're waiting for me to make a dick joke. Let's start with the first one. Portal is a first-person puzzle game where you must escape a weapons-testing facility that has been taken over by an evil speak-and-spell. The only tool you have to do this is the "portal gun" -- an apparatus that allows you to create an instantaneous connection between any two surfaces. It sounds simple, but the puzzles become more and … Read More
After reading Trevor's blurb on the new push for backward-thinking copyright reform by the Harper Conservatives, I decided to take his advice and write a letter to my MP, Diane Ablonczy, and I hope that many of you (if you are, indeed, Canadian) have done the same.
If you have sent a letter (or are planning to), I propose a game! Post your letter in the comments below, and I'll read 'em all. After, say, a week, I'll pick a winner, and come up with some sort of prize. I'm not sure what this will be yet, because honestly, I just thought of this when I started this paragraph. But maybe I can talk Peter into donating some bizarre movie swag? Or perhaps I'll just buy you a handful of M&Ms from one of those coin-op machines and send them in an envelope labeled "DANGER: ASP … Read More