Tomb

It happens from time to time. A show will seem completely normal and robot-free, and then…. Bam! A surprise robot! See what I mean:

• Deep Red (1975). Many of horror maestro Dario Argento’s films, such as Suspiria (1977) and Inferno (1980), have supernatural elements in them, meaning that crazy stuff happens all the time with little or no explanation. Maggots rain down from the ceiling, guide dogs turn on their masters — stuff like that. Well, there are no supernatural elements in Deep Red, so things are considerably more straightforward — for the most part.

There is, however, one freaky scene that gives the audience a delicious jolt of WTF. A man sits alone in his study, occasionally wandering around his cavernous, silent home. The camera follows him, but it’s occasionally distracted by a dark window, as if it senses something we don’t see. There have already been several murders in this movie, and the audience has learned to predict when they are about to occur; here, the mental warning bells are ringing loud and clear.

The man looks ill at ease, as though sensing danger. Suddenly the soundtrack goes from silence to full-volume creepy music, as the man stares nervously at an open door — but it’s a bluff. Nothing appears. The music stops, and the man sighs with relief.

Then, a creepy little doll bursts from the shadows and comes running straight towards him. The entire audience pees a little bit. Gripping his hunting knife, the man swings with all his might, chopping the doll’s head in half. We see the shattered doll twisting on the floor, cogs and gears spilling out of its head, while the tiny arms and legs continue to run in place.

Why, it’s nothing but a surprise robot! What a relief! The man smiles at his overreaction, and then takes one-and-a-half seconds to wonder what the hell a surprise robot is doing in his study…. Then a murderer jumps out and gets him. Aaaaaagggghhh!

(FYI: zombie pioneer George Romero is planning to shoot a 3-D remake of this film.)

• Alien (1979). Did anybody else scream like an infant banshee when Ian Holm got his head knocked off, and he sprayed milk all over the room? Eek! Surprise Robot!

• Molly in Springtime (2009). I have no idea why the people of Balthasar-ville have a giant wooden robotic simulacra of their king just sitting there in the middle of town. OK, so it’s part of some kind of Wicker Man-type ritual where they set fire to a big effigy for good luck. That still doesn’t explain why the inside of its head is filled with levers and wheels that make the colossus move and speak. I don’t care what it’s made of — that thing is clearly a robot. It ambushes a guy who is just as startled as the audience.

• The Muppet Show (1976). An unexplained crate arrives backstage, containing a “mechanical wind-up TV host” (or, Kermit the Frog with a big key in his back). The real Kermit kicks up a fuss, so Surprise Robot locks him in the crate and puts the moves on Miss Piggy.

• The Lost Empire (1983). The scene starts normally, with an enormous tarantula crawling towards the huge-breasted woman asleep in her bed. Then, once the woman wakes up and smashes the horrid thing, little springs, gears and wires tumble out. Surprise Robot! Her reaction? “I hate robot spiders!”