Tomb

Giant pigs, wall-to-wall nudity, rabid biker gangs, marsupial werewolves and cars crashing through houses at 130 km/h. Yes my friends, Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation! (2008) might just be the least boring documentary in existence.

Film buffs know about the Australian New Wave of the ’70s and ’80s, in which high-quality Australian films such as Breaker Morant (1980), Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975) and The Man from Snowy River (1982) became international hits. Much less discussed are the outrageous exploitation films from the same period. There were ribald sex farces (such as Alvin Purple and Pacific Banana), gruesome thrillers (Patrick and Razorback) and high-octane action flicks seemingly designed to put stunt drivers in the hospital (Mad Max, of course). Interestingly, the “respectable” films came after the down-and-dirty grindhouse flicks, possibly in an attempt to portray Australians as something other than roving bands of cannibalistic rapist bikers.

It's the grotty, sexy, depraved, no-holds-barred exploitation flicks that are the focus of Not Quite Hollywood, and you really need to drop everything and watch this movie right now. This labour of love took five years to assemble out of 100 hours of interview footage and 150 hours of kick-ass Aussie films. Sure, it's a clip show, but it's the most entertaining clip show I've ever seen.

The first of the three sections of the film deals with sex. Loads and loads of sex. Giggling naked women as far as the eye can see. Many exhibitionist actresses are interviewed; they reminisce about how naked they were, and get continually interrupted by the nude scenes in question. Very educational. I nearly wore out the buttons on my remote control.

Next come the horror films, complete with hilarious commentary by various actors, filmmakers and dedicated Ozploitation fan Quentin Tarantino. We see plants and animals team up to try to kill an obnoxious yuppie couple on vacation. We see a pig the size of a Winnebago come crashing through the side of a house. We even see a furry woman giving birth to a baby werewolf, which we learn is played by a mouse in a rubber costume.

Finally, we're treated to a selection of stunts and car chases from the action genre, and I'm quite frankly amazed that any of the stuntmen working in Australia at the time survived at all. These guys don't give a second thought to falling backwards off a cliff onto jagged rocks while on fire, and no, that's not just a made-up example; that's a real stunt. Mad Max alone looks like it should have completely depopulated the entire continent, and the fact that one of the drivers did the film's most spectacular driving stunt while his leg was in a cast staggers the mind. Tarantino rubs his hands with glee while describing these amazing films, and the accompanying footage shows just how much of an influence Aussie cinema was on stuff like Death Proof.

The extras-stuffed DVD of Not Quite Hollywood is widely available and bargain-priced. Just be prepared to ignore any ringing phones, misbehaving pets or kitchen fires during the 103-minute running time, because if you're anything like me, you'll be unable to take your eyes off the screen.