Tomb

Just how evil is Resident Evil (2002) or Evil Brain from Outer Space (1964)? How about Holy Virgin vs. the Evil Dead (1991); who's going to win that little fracas? This week, Video Vulture takes a look at films with the word “evil” in the titles, and checks to see if they're all on the same wavelength. (SPOILER: they're not.)

• Evilspeak (1981) — So, how is evil portrayed in this notorious nerd-on-a-satanic-rampage flick? Imagine Clint Howard holding a sword, levitating over a rampaging herd of demonic pigs. Yep, it's that weird. Clint plays a friendless student in a military academy who endures a ridiculous amount of bullying before finally snapping and summoning up the forces of evil using mystic incantations and an Apple II home computer.

Evil rating: Crazy evil.

• Evil Roy Slade (1972) — This made-for-television comic western defies expectations by actually being funny. John Astin goes into extra-goofy mode to portray the title miscreant, and Astin has levels of goofiness unavailable to most humans. Evil Roy Slade is the meanest nogoodnik in the West, but in this film, that amounts to stealing a locomotive because he likes the “toot-toot” sound the whistle makes. Few desperadoes show this much glee over their wrongdoing.

Evil rating: Adorable.

• G vs. E (1999) — “Deals with the Devil are bad. It's our job to stop 'em!” So states jive-talking, afro-sporting protagonist Henry McNeil (Richard Brooks) in the opening moments of this too-cool-to-last TV series. He and fellow operative Chandler Smythe (Clayton Gordon) are once-dead members of the Almighty Corps, a supernatural anti-evil organization that does its job with panache, a cool 1970s blaxploitation vibe, and plenty of camp ridiculousness. “It is a battle of Good versus Evil. G vs. E, that's what it is!”

Evil rating: Funkylicious.

• Twins of Evil (1971) — The twins of the title are played by Madeleine and Mary Collinson, Playboy magazine's first identical twin playmates. Here, they're in a Hammer horror film, with one of the sisters turning into a vampire. The evil plan seems to be to get naked a lot. Evil wins!

Evil rating: Hubba-hubbasome.

• Evil Toons (1992) — Live-action honeys are bedeviled by a horny animated imp in this lowbrow, sleazy variation on Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988).

Evil rating: Causes one to reflect on the irony of the term, “For mature audiences.”

• Two Evil Eyes (1990) — This compilation horror film features two legendary horror directors adapting Edgar Allan Poe stories. Dario Argento's “The Black Cat” is terrific, but John Carpenter's “The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar” sucks.

Evil rating: 50 per cent. Must try harder.

• Evil Bong (2006) — A hookah with a face sends stoners to their doom in some kind of hallucinatory world that resembles the Devil's strip club. Here's your chance to see Tommy Chong attack a piece of drug paraphernalia with a chainsaw.

Evil rating: Huh? Sorry, man, I wasn't listening. Are those Pringles?

• Evil Keg (2007) — OK, this is getting ridiculous. A batch of tainted suds turns a town into an army of beer zombies.

Evil rating: Dude, where's my torso?

• The Axis of Evil Comedy Tour (2007) — Four standup comedians of Middle Eastern heritage discuss the lighter side of post 9/11 paranoia. In a funny touch, each performer has to walk through a metal detector to get onstage.

Evil rating: Not evil. Sorry sir, we do these baggage checks on everyone.

• Christmas Evil (a.k.a. You Better Watch Out) (1980) — A disturbed man dresses up as Santa Claus and murders people on his “naughty” list. Mind you, he also distributes toys to orphans. At the end, a lynch mob advances on the nut, only to be stopped by a gaggle of adoring children. Then, the nut escapes by flying away in his magical sleigh! (Or van. Whatever.)

Evil rating: Ho-Ho-Homicidal!

• Santo vs. the Evil Brain (1961) — I've seen Mexican masked wrestler Santo defeat vampires and mad scientists before, but how is he supposed to wrestle a brain?!

Evil rating: Muy loco en la cabeza.

• Leslie, My Name is Evil (2009) — Wow, Evil is so polite! Hello Evil, it's nice to meet you!

Evil rating: Nametagged.

• Night of the Revenge of the Evil Zombitron Spy-Bot (2009) — I have no idea what the hell this is, but it just made my must-see list.

Evil rating: Potentially awesome.

• I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil, and I Want to Be Your Class President (planned for a 2010 release) —

Wow! You've definitely got my vote!

Evil rating: Most likely to succeed.