Chickens! Oh my God, chickens!!! Claws and beaks and feathers! They're everywhere!

Sorry. Little panic attack there. Y'see, my grandpa Mike used to lock me in the henhouse whenever I was bad. But I'm fine now, really. Oh, and there aren't really chickens everywhere. That's a total exaggeration. But they do seem to be in movies and television an awful lot. Creepy clucking bastards...

• Chicken Run (2000) — Hens take centre stage with this charming clay-animated variation on The Great Escape. Aardman animation is in typically fine form here, although the decision to do an all-Plasticine, all-poultry adventure caused headaches for the animators. After all, bulbous, feathery creatures with skinny little legs are pretty much the worst possible candidates for being made out of modelling clay. Best moment: when a crusty old veteran rooster is asked to call upon his Royal Air Force experience and fly his neighbours to safety in a newly constructed flying machine, he snorts, “Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t fly this contraption. I’m a chicken! The Royal Air Force doesn’t let chickens behind the controls of complex aircraft!”

• Royal Canadian Air Farce (TV series) — Chickens as ammunition! When the Canadian comedy institution introduced the Chicken Cannon, it became (and remains) an immediate audience favourite. Pompous politicians and ridiculous celebrities are deflated by having their images pelted with a CO2-propelled rubber chicken. Take that, Ralph Klein! The “ammo” used in the cannon is now chosen from audience suggestions and rarely includes rubber fowl anymore, alas.

• Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993) — Chickens as ammunition, part deux! The image of a hapless egg-layer being fired from Charlie Sheen’s bow was ludicrous enough to grace the film’s poster. Twang! Squaaaaack!

• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) — During the harrowing boat ride sequence, all manner of horrifying images fly at the ill-fated factory visitors. For one brief second, we see an actual chicken getting its head chopped off. What the hell?!

• Sleeper (1973) — “That’s a big chicken,” observes Woody Allen, on the run in a ludicrous future dystopia. He’s not kidding — this thing towers over Allen. Wisely, the Woodman passes over poultry in his hunt for genetically modified food and opts for a nine-foot banana instead.

• The Food of the Gods (1976) — Want more giant hens? You’ll find them here, along with giant rats, wasps, worms and what have you. This camp classic, based on a novel by H.G. Wells, has recently been released on DVD.

• Forbidden Zone (1980) — Bear with me here; this gets a little weird. Squeezit Henderson (played by “Toshiro Baloney”) is feeling depressed because his family has been kidnapped by the King of the Sixth Dimension (Herve Villechaize). At his darkest hour, the whiney pipsqueak receives encouragement from a mystical talking chicken and summons the wherewithal to storm the palace and save the day. Yay, chicken boy!

• The Muppet Show (TV series) — Chickens turned out to be surprisingly versatile performers in this well-loved show. Whether playing piano, serving as Gonzo’s love interest, or simply running across the screen pursued by a cleaver-wielding Swedish Chef, the Muppet chickens never disappointed.

• Family Guy (TV series) — Who could forget chicken-suit guy? After receiving an expired coupon from a sinister giant bird, Peter flies into a rage, precipitating one of the longest and most cinematic chicken/man fistfights in recorded history.

• Death Laid an Egg (AKA Plucked) (1968) — Quite possibly the weirdest of all giallo films (violent Italian crime thrillers), this mystery flick takes place in a scientifically advanced chicken farm which has genetically engineered a strain of egg-laying but headless chickens. The pace is deadly slow, and the soundtrack sounds like a piano falling down a staircase.

• Walky Talky Hawky (1946) — This vintage cartoon short introduced the world to Foghorn Leghorn, the hilarious blowhard rooster, star of many unforgettable Warner Brothers ’toons. Mel Blanc’s southern fried accent would be hilarious all by itself, even without lines like “That boy’s as sharp as a sack of wet mice!” They don’t make ’em like this any more.