Tomb

Hey look at me! I’ve got a gun! Pew, pew, pew!

OK, not really. I’m just pointing my finger at you and saying “Pew, pew, pew” like a little kid during recess. Don’t pretend you’ve never done it. It’s fun! Sometimes, characters from movies and TV get in on the action, play-acting with their little imaginary finger pistols and occasionally getting thick-witted bad guys to drop their weapons when they feel the “gun barrel” poking them in the ribs.

On rarer occasions, these pretend guns actually seem to have an effect. See:

• Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010). One of the coolest movies of this year doesn’t have a single gun in it, possibly because it takes place in Canada (or at least in an alternate-reality version of Toronto in which video-game physics reign supreme). So when a pair of heavily armed authority figures called “The Vegan Police” arrive, what do they point at the perp? Why, their fingers, of course! Green targeting lasers shoot out of their index fingers, as the non-dairy fuzz whip off their sunglasses and read out a list of charges to the dumbfounded offender. Then they let loose with a mighty zap that rids the target of his vegan-diet-bestowed psychic powers. The cops give each other a manly high-five as they return to their police cruiser. Yeah!

Incidentally, the Vegan Police are played by uncredited special guest stars “The Punisher” and “That One-Armed Guy From Sunshine Cleaning.” (OK, OK. They’re played by Thomas Jane and Clifton Collins Jr.)

• The Losers (2010). Critics were unkind to this admittedly empty-headed action flick, but it’s still loads of fun to watch. Check out the scene in which Chris Evans’s character faces off against armed security guards by pointing his fingers at them, gunslinger style. The guards raise their eyebrows at this peculiar behaviour, but they still go down when Evans says “Bang!” at them. Why? Because his sniper friend is actually picking them off from the next building over. It’s a neat little moment, and it made it into the trailer.

• Videodrome (1983). Max Renn (James Woods) is losing his mind and thinks that his pistol has been absorbed into his body through a slit in his chest, with the barrel now protruding from his mutated hand. Or maybe that’s what literally happened. It’s hard to tell. In any case, you wouldn’t want this guy pointing in your direction.

• Chamber of Horrors (1966) features an insane murderer with a missing hand. Every time we see him, he has a different weapon or tool attached to his stump. The gimmick of the film is that whenever there’s a scary scene, the audience gets warned ahead of time by the “Fear Flasher” and the “Horror Horn” so that viewers may look away if they wish.

If you choose to look away the fourth time the “Fear Flasher” and “Horror Horn” manifest themselves, you’ll miss a rather nifty surprise. A policeman gets the drop on the murderer, and orders him to raise his hands. The killer complies, surprising the cop with the revelation that he now seems to have both of his hands. Then, two gunshots are heard as the cop falls dead, and the fake hand crumbles away, revealing the concealed pistol within.

• Spaced (1999-2001). Aaaand, now we’re back to the work of Edgar Wright, the genius director of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

Spaced is a British sitcom that either a) you’ve already seen, or b) you need to immediately see. In any case, there’s one particular episode in which pistol fingers are heavily featured.

First, we learn that pistol fingers are a deeply ingrained part of the male psyche. When somebody starts a slow-motion mime shootout, you just have to join in. “That’s never happened to me before,” muses Brian (Mark Heap) after first experiencing the power of the impromptu, mimed gun battle.

It comes in handy later on, when an angry street gang confronts Tim and Daisy (Simon Pegg and Jessica Hynes) and the duo cleverly gets away by initiating an epic finger pistol shootout with the punks, who, being male, must play along in spectacular fashion. “Bang! Pow! Rat-a-tat-tat! Click…click…(uh oh) Ch-chk. Boom!”