In 1972, the Broadway musical Via Galactica, starring Raul Julia, closed after only seven performances, losing over $1 million and immediately becoming one of Broadway’s biggest flops. One of the typically scathing reviews pointed out that the scenes in which trampolines were used to suggest the weightlessness of outer space suggested nothing more than people pointlessly bouncing up and down on trampolines.
    Hang on. They used trampolines to suggest weightlessness?! That’s so lame, it’s awesome! Fortunately you don’t have to go to Broadway to see brazenly unsophisticated special effects; they’re as close as your DVD player! Why spend a fortune on finely crafted optical effects when a determined filmmaker can “suggest” the same results with a tablespoon of baking soda and some lemon juice? Here are a few of my favourite “special effects” moments that make no attempt to hide their homemade origins:
    • Teenagers from Outer Space (1959) — This fun camp classic builds up a good atmosphere of unintentional comedy early on, so by the time the giant “Gargan” monster shows up, it gets big laughs. This vicious beast is simply a lobster made to look gigantic through rear projection. I imagine the creature looks utterly terrifying to audiences who have never seen a lobster before.
    • Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999) — Yes, even with the gigatons of money and technology available to George Lucas, there was still room for a simple homemade prop in this flick. Check out the little handheld communicator dealies; they’re just women’s shavers. Specifically, the featured bathroom article is the Sensor Excel, with molded handle for a sure grip, and the smoothest legs ever. Women everywhere furrowed their brows in exasperation as their boyfriends borrowed their razors to play Star Wars. “Come in, Threepio!”
    • Dracula (1931) — Bela Lugosi’s natural charisma made this a classic, but check out the giant mutant rats that overrun his decrepit Transylvanian castle. They’re armadillos. Apparently, the filmmakers thought that these cute little critters resembled some kind of armour-plated rat/cockroach hybrid, and that audiences would be terrified. Instead, the ’dillos got big laughs, especially in regions where the gentle creatures are a common roadside sight.
    • The Boxer’s Omen (1983) — There are way too many bizarre sights in this flick to synopsize, but the very first supernatural occurrence features an unforgettably goofy attempt to inspire awe. Just as the protagonist is about to be killed by the bad guys, he receives a mystical vision of a Buddhist monk, who appears in the doorway. With his shaved head and wearing holy robes, the monk is clearly here to dispense miraculous wisdom. He also seems to be standing on an unseen lawn sprinkler, and water is spraying in all directions behind him, while he just stands there pretending like he’s not wet or uncomfortable. I think the intended effect is supposed to be that he’s radiating a shimmering halo of prismatic energy, and the filmmakers probably assumed that we’d just see reflected light all around him instead of water. Nope. That man is on a sprinkler. I’m sorry, but it’s impossible to take a sprinkler-monk seriously.
    • Big Meat Eater (1982) — This gleefully insane Canadian sci-fi horror musical doesn’t care one bit if you suspend disbelief or not. To prove it, the space aliens are wind-up toy robots that speak in subtitles.
    • Shock! Shock! Shock! (1987) — Of the many, many homemade special effects in this neglected comedy gem, one of my favourites is the moment in which the protagonist falls off a bridge and thrashes around in the water. The “drowning” scene is convincing, but slightly, inexplicably odd, and it flashes by in less than a second. We have to rewind and pause the action to see the scope of the filmmakers’ hubris; the actor isn’t swimming at all! He’s not even wet! He’s just sticking his head and one hand through a plastic sheet, while spitting out a stream of water and thrashing around!
    • Hardware Wars (1977) — This here is the ne plus ultra of homemade special effects movies. Completed the same year that Star Wars was released, this was among the very first parodies of Lucas’s epic, and George himself claims it as a favourite. We see toasters, steam irons and eggbeaters dangling on visible strings, but, in context, they’re spaceships locked in an epic battle for supremacy of the universe! This is one flick where we’re supposed to laugh at the audacity of the dime store F/X, and it works every time. A joy to behold, even after 30 years.