Tomb

Say — does anybody remember the Bugs Bunny cartoon Little Red Riding Rabbit (1944)?

This Merrie Melodies classic begins with Little Red Riding Hood skipping through the forest — but this particular version of Red is all grown up, with an attractive figure, a short red skirt, bobby socks and eyeglasses. Red’s voice is done by an uncredited Bea Benaderet, the actress who provided the original voice of Betty Rubble — but here she sounds more like Fred Flintstone.

Naturally, Red is carrying a basket. Bugs Bunny emerges from it, chewing a carrot.

“Ehhh-yah… whatcha got in the basket, gorgeous?”

“I GOT A LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT WHICH I’M TAKIN’ TO MY GRANDMAW! TO HAVE, SEE!?” bellows Red in a voice that could peel the paint off a barn.

Bugs shows his own leg as evidence, and I swear to God, he leers at it. “Hmm. Wow. Not a bad pair of stems for a rabbit,” purrs Bugs, ogling his own limb.

“YEAH, AND HE’S GOT A CUTE FACE TOO, SEE!?” yells Red, hoisting Bugs up so he can peer into the now-empty basket. With their odd flirtation now concluded, Red resumes her journey, singing merrily as she goes. (“LA-DA-DA-DA DA DA DA DA DA!”)

A Big Bad Wolf then redirects Red up a twisted mountain path by pivoting a sign reading “Shortcut to Grandma’s.” Wolfie then goes to Grandma’s house himself, a journey of less than two seconds, because the fork in the road seems to be in Grandma’s front yard. Disguising himself in a frumpy nightgown, he then chases away four similarly disguised wolves who are trying the same scam.

Red enters the cottage with a yell that can be heard from the Himalayas. “HEY GRANDMAW! I BROUGHT A LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT FOR YA! TO HAVE!” bellows Red, presenting Wolfie with the basket. Delighted at the prospect of a rabbit dinner, the Wolf tries to shoo Red away so he can eat in peace. But Red keeps barging back in, with annoying questions about big eyes, big ears, etc. “HEY GRANDMAW! THAT’S AN AWFULLY BIG NOSE FOR YOU! TO HAVE!”

Red gets the bum’s rush into the front yard, but keeps returning throughout the cartoon, making a nuisance of herself. Meanwhile, Bugs decides to mess with Wolfie’s head, and some classic Warner Brothers-style shenanigans ensue. Multiple chases, door slams and frustrations later, Wolfie finds himself straddling two benches, holding up a vanload of heavy furniture while his crotch hovers precariously over a heap of glowing hot coals. There’s time for one last mean-spirited, but hilarious, plot twist and then it’s th-th-th-that’s all, folks.

It can be tough keeping some of these overdone fairy tale storylines fresh, but Little Red Riding Rabbit makes it look incredibly easy. There isn’t a wasted second in the entire seven-minute running time, and the brand-new variations on classic characters (Red and Big Bad Wolf) are instantly appealing and fun to watch. Red’s brassy new voice is unforgettable, and the cartoon can be viewed over and over again without wearing out its welcome. Look for it on the Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume 2 (2004) DVD set.