Tomb

With election day coming up, it is worth noting that while our system of government is far from perfect, it could be much, much worse.

Consider the political atmosphere shown in The Road Warrior, a.k.a. Mad Max 2 (1981). I know, I know. “What political atmosphere?! Society had collapsed completely!” Well yes, that is the entire point of the film, but the murderous gangs of motorbike-riding marauders did have representative leadership. We even get to see two distinct tribal governments interact with one another, even if that interaction can be described as a protracted demolition derby-slash-crossbow battle interrupted by one supremely half-assed attempt at civil diplomacy.

So we’re in the crappy version of the future where civilization is a distant memory, gasoline is the rarest and most valuable commodity, and humanity’s sole remnants are doing horrible things to each other to survive. In the middle of all this is a tiny fortress town built around a functioning oil well that provides the town’s inhabitants with all the fuel they need. Outside the spiky fortress walls, we find roving bands of psychotic bikers who want in.

Should these two societies co-operate? The benefits are pretty obvious. The townsfolk have plenty of gas, but are bound to eventually run out of food and supplies. The biker gangs are in the best position to round up supplies, but go through gas like crazy. It would be a simple thing for the marauders to go scrounging the ruined countryside for tools, edibles and other goods, which they could give to the villagers in exchange for gasoline. Everybody wins!

The trouble is, these marauders just don’t play well with others. They pretty much take everything they want, rape anything that moves and fire crossbows at anything that runs away. It’s extremely difficult to negotiate with a group that uses a rape-based economic system.

So the two societies continue to butt heads, until the marauders finally get tired of charging into the path of the flamethrowers at the top of the town gates, and attempt to negotiate. They do this by handing a microphone to a bodybuilder wearing a goalie mask and a jockstrap.

Yep, it’s the marauders’ unelected leader, “The Humungus” (Kjell Nilsson). He promises not to kill the villagers anymore if they agree to give him everything. The gas, the oil, the pump, the town — everything. Not such a great deal, especially considering that he takes a break in the middle of his speech to reassure Wez (Vernon Wells) that the townsfolk will be fair game once the gas has been secured. (Sure hope the mic wasn’t on during that part!) Also, the big guy’s observation that “There has been too much violence... too much pain” is a bit rich coming from a man with two struggling prisoners strapped to the front of his car.

The townsfolk turn to their own leader, Pappagallo (Mike Preston), who points out that The Humungus is full of shit, and they execute a daring plan to blow up their own home, and drive away into the wasteland accompanied by a big oil truck driven by a grumpy loner (Mel Gibson). The coolest car chase in movie history ensues, and it takes up the entire last half of the film!

A bleak image of future government perhaps, but there is at least a glimmer of hope. In the next sequel, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985), the head honcho of what laughably passes for civilization is no longer a masked steroid gimp, but a dwarf in a backpack who rides around on the back of a masked steroid gimp. Ah, progress!