Tomb

The backstage area on The Muppet Show was a pretty bizarre place, overrun with fussy prima donnas (Miss Piggy), pyromaniacs (Crazy Harry), science experiments run amok (dozens of Xeroxed Beakers) and actual, bona fide farm animals (a real cow). Things had to look a bit crazy backstage in order to compete with the sight of The Great Gonzo onstage, eating a tire. Or, you know, whatever nonsense was going on that week.

Every once in a while, though, the regular set of The Muppet Show just wasn’t weird enough, and we’d get a quick but unforgettable look at the planet Koozebane.

Koozebane was the go-to planet for any comedy sketches featuring one-off characters that were too bizarre for Earth. The planet was introduced in spectacular fashion with the legendary “Koozebanian Mating Ritual” sketch. In it, Kermit the Frog stands on the planet’s surface, dressed in his reporter costume from Sesame Street. (Koozebane presumably has an Earth-like atmosphere, making a space suit unnecessary.) Kermit spots an exuberant, orange-skinned alien in the distance, identifies it as a “Koozebanian male,” and reports on its behaviour in the manner of a nature program.

The male Koozebanian begins making an assortment of absolutely ridiculous noises, eventually attracting the attention of a female Koozebanian, a dark red creature with an aardvark-like snout, a shock of pink hair, long eyelashes and a delighted expression on its face. (“There she is, and what a beauty,” observes Kermit.) The interaction between the Koozebanians gets more heated and bizarre, until Kermit excitedly reports that the pair is about to go all the way with the never-before-filmed “Galley-oh-hoop-hoop.” Sure enough, the mating ritual reaches its logical conclusion, and when the dust clears, let’s just say that there is new life on Koozebane.

The “Koozebanian Mating Ritual” sketch first appeared on the seldom-seen The Muppets Valentine Special (1974) but was shown again in the first season of The Muppet Show, on the Florence Henderson episode.

The Muppets weren’t finished with Koozebane yet. Kermit visited it again to do an exclusive interview with the “Koozebanian Phoob,” an articulate shaggy blue lizard-thing that has the misfortune of being the most delicious animal on the planet. The Phoob explains that its survival depends on evolving at great speed in order to blend in with other creatures. It demonstrates this by transforming into a clone of Kermit right before our eyes, complete with trench coat and microphone. The Phoob and Kermit then wrestle each other over who gets to do the sign-off at the end of the interview (Episode 205, guest star Judy Collins).

The last time Kermit interviewed the local fauna on Koozebane, it was the Koozebanian Spooble, a creature composed entirely of liquid. The sketch ends with a gag about getting drunk on camera. Wocka wocka! (Episode 223, guest star John Cleese).

In my favourite Koozebane segment of The Muppet Show, the planet gets a visit from guest star Dom DeLuise as a befuddled astronaut (Episode 211). This sequence boasts some of the best sight gags in the entire series, which is really saying something. The barren landscape is dotted with craters, and a number of pink conical creatures pop out of holes to shoot steam from their heads while chanting “Merdlidop.” They hide when DeLuise approaches, but re-emerge to mess with his head while he’s taking rock samples. DeLuise gives a delightful performance as the excitable explorer, interacting hilariously with what is essentially a gigantic whack-a-mole game. The little pink monsters keep disappearing and popping up again, stealing his hammer and walkie-talkie and grabbing his arm, which disappears down one hole and reappears up another several metres away. In the end, Dom gets assimilated Borg-style into the alien society, but he doesn’t seem to mind.