Tomb

Whenever you watch an old DVD or videotape, there’s a chance you’ll be presented with a trailer for an equally old movie you’ve never heard about or completely forgotten. I’ve seen trailers for virtually unheard of films this way, stuff like A Slightly Pregnant Man (1973), or Squizzy Taylor (1982). The trailer for Shaolin Dolemite (1999) delighted me so much I watched it on a loop for a half-hour, but I have yet to see the film itself.

Not every movie stays famous or relevant. We still want to watch Ghostbusters (1984), but lots of other films of that vintage are now obscure (does anybody remember Just the Way You Are, Making the Grade, or Roadhouse 66?). Accordingly, preparing to watch a beloved oldie and seeing an ad for a film that has vanished from the public consciousness can feel odd.

Disney’s animated films are prone to featuring forgotten trailers. Collectors and video stores tend to hang on to the studio’s classic works for a long time, and the trailers attached to these films will remind future generations that direct-to-video junk like Cinderella 2 (2002) exists.

Watching a forgotten movie trailer can lead to groaning, eye-rolling recognition — oh geez, remember that John Goodman comedy King Ralph (1991)? — but it can also intrigue us. A DVD of The Big Lebowski (1998) surprised me recently with an awesome trailer for The Ice Harvest (2005), a fascinating-looking, dark comedy-crime thriller with John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton, Randy Quaid and Oliver Platt. I particularly like the part where Cusack and Thornton try talking to the gangster they’ve locked in a trunk and the locked trunk starts shooting at them.

“I took his gun! Guess he must have another one,” whines Thornton.

“Must have,” agrees Cusack.

How did I miss this movie during its original run? I’m going to have to check it out some time.

After deciding this week’s topic, I went looking for more obscure trailers and happened upon a real doozy that goes by the awesome title of Demon Spies (1974). The first thing the trailer shows is four or five crazy people wearing Japanese oni (demon) masks with long, stringy dreadlock wigs leaping around and beating on a drum. If they had more than just the one musical instrument, they might look like a heavy metal band. (“Hellooo Detroit! We are… Demon Spies! Whooo!”) The second thing we see is a topless woman, followed quickly by a soft-focus sex scene. So far, so good. Next, two of the raggedy demon-masked folks have a wicked knife fight. Why? Don’t ask me — I kind of gathered from their identical costumes and the opening jam session that these guys were on the same side. Who am I supposed to be rooting for? Both fighters look identical. Oh wait: One of them has a boob hanging out of her shirt. I guess I’m cheering for her.

The fighters’ masks get knocked off, and the combatants stop fighting and glare at each other silently, while captions stating the actors’ names appear at the bottom of the screen (“Introducing Aramaki Keiko,” eh? Ha! I knew it was you! Now take out your other boob!).

“Sparkling Espionage!” yells another caption, as lots of random crap happens quickly. Another naked woman reclines. Some dude gets impaled on a portcullis and shouts “Hell no! I’m not dying!” (That’s optimism!) Next, a bunch of samurai stand in a row, laughing, with their fists on their hips. Some shaggy-haired dude stabs himself in the middle of a battle. I’ll be flabbergasted if this movie makes sense, but it sure looks fun. Look for the trailer on the Shogun Assassin (1980).