Tomb

The success of The Dirty Dozen (1967) created a little used but entertaining subgenre — films in which a gaggle of hardened criminals are forced to complete a dangerous mission in a war zone. The cast get to play wacky, unpredictable characters rather than the standard soldier stereotypes, the commanding officers have to focus on keeping the men from killing each other as well as keeping them on task, and everybody gets picked off one at a time like a slasher film; this is basically a suicide mission, and all the soldiers are expendable. It’s a formula with great promise, and some pretty terrific movies have come out of it.

- The Inglorious Bastards (aka Deadly Mission) (1978). Now that the similarly-titled Quentin Tarantino film Inglourious Basterds (2009) is over a year old and we’re less likely to make the comparison, this might be a good time to check out Enzo G. Castelleri’s original. You’ve probably heard that it’s completely different from the newer film (which is true) and that it’s really bad (which is definitely false, at least in my opinion). While I can understand how this raucous chunk of wild ’70s exploitation might not be everybody’s cup of tea, it certainly put a smile on my face. The titular “Bastards” aren’t an elite fighting force at all — they’re just a bunch of deserters and criminals facing court martial for their various misdeeds. That is, until an unexpected Nazi air attack kills their MP captors, giving them a chance to run for the Swiss border.

Their escape attempt winds up demanding more wartime heroics than they were willing to display as regular soldiers. At one point they accidentally ambush and kill an elite Allied task force and wind up impersonating them in order to continue their escape. This leads to an enjoyably absurd situation in which this gaggle of backstabbing criminals must actually complete an important commando mission. Plenty of action and surprises make this one worth a look — catch it now, while it’s still easy to find.

- Play Dirty (1968). Why on Earth isn’t this brilliant film better known? Perhaps it’s just too dark and cynical for mainstream audiences, or perhaps the lack of American characters made it a hard sell.

Michael Caine plays a British army captain who gets plucked from his cushy desk job and thrust into a dangerous sabotage mission in Rommel’s territory in North Africa. What he doesn’t realize is that his commanding officer is using his unit as a decoy to draw enemy fire away from the real task force, one that’s attempting the exact same mission with better intel and equipment. What he does realize, however, is that his second-in-command, Captain Cyril Leech (Nigel Davenport), is a dangerous, insubordinate, amoral killer and the rest of his newly appointed team of cutthroats will only listen to Leech’s orders.

The team has been recruited from prison — there’s a Greek drug runner, a Tunisian terrorist, a Turkish smuggler, a rapist and two gay Arabs serving as guides. The gang, disguised as Italian soldiers, set out to demolish a fuel depot 650 kilometres into enemy territory. On the way, they experience truly nightmarish obstacles — booby traps, ambushes, infighting and other calamities. Several long scenes are reminiscent of the brilliant Wages of Fear (1953), in that they play without dialogue yet are filled with suspense. Gallows humour abounds, and just about every single character gets betrayed in some fashion. This is a film that is marvellously, angrily fascinated with the hypocrisy and treachery that come with war, and if you give it a chance it’ll leave you stunned, enraged and excited.

- Eastern Condors (1987). One of the few ways to improve the criminals-on-a-secret-military-mission formula is to add kung fu, which is what Eastern Condors does to brilliant effect. Hong Kong action superstar Sammo Hung really shines here in a group of Chinese-American convicts. Here, he’s parachuted into postwar Vietnam in order to destroy a munitions dump before it can be found by the Viet Cong. The action set pieces are truly astonishing, and this is one of the few films that successfully blends kung fu and gunplay. (The secret is to only use kung fu when you absolute have to, such as when making an unarmed escape from a POW camp — and then, only until you can get your hands on a gun.) This flick takes a while to get going, but once it hits its stride, it’s one of the most action-packed war flicks you’ll ever see. Definitely worth tracking down!