The Pink Panther 2

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So, uh... they made another Pink Panther movie. Yep.

Steve Martin does his Inspector Clouseau impression again, this time leading a “dream team” of international detectives (Andy Garcia, Alfred Molina, Yuki Matsuzaki and stunning Bollywood beauty Aishwarya Rai) in an attempt to hunt down a daring cat burglar known only as “Il Tornado.” The thief has stolen not only the famed Pink Panther diamond, but also the Magna Carta, the Shroud of Turin and the Pope’s ring. Martin diligently crosses off items in his standard Outrageous Buffoon Checklist, mispronouncing “hamburger” again, getting his hand caught in a car window while attempting to give out a parking ticket, infuriating Chief Inspector Dreyfuss (John Cleese) and falling off a balcony while dressed as the Pope. Meanwhile, Clouseau and shy co-worker Nicole (played by a luminous Emily Mortimer) pine for one another's affections, while their budding romance is stalled by a completely arbitrary misunderstanding.

Nobody should come to The Pink Panther 2 expecting to see any new jokes. You’ll guess every single punchline as soon as you hear the setup, which I suspect is kind of the point. This is, after all, a movie franchise that has lasted over 40 years, and the familiarity is intended to be appealing. In practice, this means that viewers are punished not only with weak comedy, but also with several nagging doubts. We remember Peter Sellers playing this role to great effect in A Shot in the Dark (1964) and The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976) and think “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to laugh at Clouseau setting fire to the same restaurant two different times. Am I becoming a humorless grouch, or did I just laugh at stupid stuff when I was little?” I choose to believe that the early Peter Sellers Pink Panther films were (and remain) hilarious, and that recapturing that particular magic is simply too tough a task, even for talented performers. Heck, even Sellers himself had a hard time making the old material work towards the end.

Trying to laugh at this stuff is tiring, but so is trying to hate it. I’d love to be able to hurl insults at this movie, but it’s just sort of sitting there, trying to make me laugh, and not being quite funny enough to be worthwhile.