Chick flicks are lazy rom-coms

So, don’t mistake Bridesmaids for one

After two weeks of relentless big pre-summer action movie fun, Hollywood’s toning it down a little this weekend. Presumably, that’s in order to let Fast Five and Thor breathe a little and earn tens of millions of dollars before the summer fare rolls in. Or, possibly, it’s to let the commentary those movies made about the human condition resonate a little and let the seeds of change they both planted blossom and flower.

But just because there’s not a big budget blockbuster behemoth hitting theatres doesn’t mean you should stay away from the cinema this weekend. No, it’s just that instead of exploding cars in exotic locations and Norse gods in New Mexico — a decidedly non-exotic location — this weekend’s main attraction is about a couple of girls at a wedding. And it’s probably a whole lot better.

If you take the critics at their word, Bridesmaids may be the comedic highlight of the summer. But there’s been a disturbing tendency to label it as a “chick flick.” First of all, using that term should be punishable by death in any scenario. The movies that tend to get that label are cheaply made, lazily conceived romantic comedies. The label is rarely, if ever, applied to movies that feature intelligent, well-rounded women. Because that type of woman isn’t a “chick,” I guess. Instead of “chick flick” we should just say “shitty movie about how Kate Hudson can’t find a boyfriend” and stop implying that most women even like that garbage.

Implying that Bridesmaids is one of those movies is, frankly, wrong. In fact, the phrase being tossed around seems to be that it’s “The Hangover for women.” This is even more wrong. First of all, it implies that just because it stars five women, the only people who would pay to see it are female. Aren’t we past that? Secondly, there seems to be a lot of women out there who enjoyed The Hangover. Yes, it was idiotically deemed a bro-mance, but nobody who uses the term bro-mance should be allowed to comment on movies. Ever. What made The Hangover a comedic milestone wasn’t that it was a guys’ movie, it was just that — human man-purse Bradley Cooper notwithstanding — it was a really funny movie.

Hopefully, Bridesmaids will succeed for the same reason. And if there’s any female comedian who should attract the male audience, it’s Kristen Wiig. Not only has she been the best thing about Saturday Night Live in recent years, she’s also stood out in a series of comedies aimed at men. Whether it was Knocked Up, Paul or Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Wiig has proven time and again that she can hold her own with any of her male counterparts. This is the role that should make her a movie star, and that should be welcome for anyone — male or female — who likes funny movies.

This weekend’s other new release is Priest. It stars Paul Bettany, and he plays a priest who is creatively named “Priest.” It’s good to know the writers worked hard on this one. Priest disobeys his superiors at the church and goes hunting for vampires. The main problem with this movie is that it disobeys the golden rule of vampire-hunting movies: If you’re going to make a vampire-hunting movie, it should star Wesley Snipes and he should be playing Blade. Always. Unless of course you’re making Blade: Trinity in which case even Blade’s presence can’t help you, because your movie stars WWF superstar Triple-H. And it sucks.

If you’re going to put a wrestling icon in your movie, that wrestling icon should be The Rock. It’s a lesson that was learned long ago by the people behind 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain when they cast Hulk Hogan. The Rock took Fast Five to another level, and he would’ve done the same for the 3 Ninjas. The only complaint I’ve heard about Fast Five is that some of the car stunts are unrealistic. This is dumb. If you want to watch cars do realistic things then go watch your neighbour park their Volvo.

There seems to be many more complaints about Thor, primarily based on how stars Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman have no sexual chemistry. That may sound trivial, but when you’ve got two of the best looking people in the world in your movie and you can’t make it sexy, you’re doing something wrong.

 

 



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