Josh J. Holinaty

Genevieve Behrend (1881-1960) , American teacher, writer and practitioner of “mental science,” once said that “A feeling that greater possessions, no matter of what kind they may be, will of themselves bring contentment or happiness, is a misunderstanding. No person, place or thing can give you happiness. They may give you cause for happiness and a feeling of contentment, but the joy of living comes from within.”

So why then does this existent joy from within seem to be an inadmissible prospect for billions of people to discover? We all know money can’t buy you happiness, but we seem to be pretty good at using if for what it can do, which seems to be to put us in debt.

Millions of young couples and families are basing their future on possessions they would like to obtain, such as a house, new vehicles, expensive clothing, big toys (boats and quads), and an exhausting list of the unnecessary — all purchased by credit cards. These possessions seem to form the foundations for what we believe will bring us happiness.

Once these possessions are obtained and the fog has cleared, the reality of the debt sets in. At this point any sort of unexpected event, such as a layoff or disability, causes a breakdown to occur in the world created around these possessions. This stuff no longer matters, now survival has become imminent; survival of relationships which have become stressed due to the constant anxiety and worry of enormous debt, survival of swimming against the tide to pay the mortgage or rent. This circle of events leads to a new way of life through debt repayment and new thoughts of need versus want. The discovery of a tool called a “budget” also leads to a simpler and clearer view of the purpose of life, necessity and what really matters.

Life seems to exist in periods of time and events... or perhaps lessons learned. Looking back over a lifetime, it is obvious that the moments that we most recall are those of the greatest hardship or of the greatest joy. These periods and cycles of events are what make up the whole of our individual existence. Event after event, after event... you may notice that just as you seem to have closed the book on one issue in your life, such as a relationship that was on the rocks or a job that wasn’t satisfying, you may actually start to feel the calm of that rocking harmonious tide: in, and out, in, and out. Just as you start to enjoy that calming breeze and once you’ve taken it all in, it becomes time to deal with the next mountain, which is about to be plunked right in front of you.

Does this mean that we should go through life worrying about what might be lurking around the next corner? Absolutely not! Life would be pretty boring without its imminent unpredictability. As the world turns, seasons shift, the sun rises, change is everlasting and so, too, are our lives. Stagnancy in any context creates the need for change.

In order to truly learn valuable lessons comes the need to experience — as we all well know that reading a book about skydiving may provide some stimulation through a creative and expressive imagination, perhaps you may conjure the feeling of the rush as your breath is taken away and you plummet towards the ground at 200 km/h. However, to look back over your life in 10 years at the momentous occasions and achievements you have conquered, you would assume that reading a book about skydiving would not be on the top your list. However, to actually skydive would provide a complete and utterly incomparable overwhelming experience, something you likely would never forget even if that’s what you preferred to do.

So, what am I getting at here? Life really is just one extreme adventure full of obstacles and choices. Mistakes are inevitable and when you hit that fork in the road you can be encouraged by the words of a great man, Robert Frost: “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference.”

So, when you are faced with the decision to buy those new shoes and, like many, you are inevitably forced to see the consequences of each and every dollar spent, don’t ignore those little thoughts of want versus need. Instead, and for a refreshing change, look down the path of every road and attempt to predict where each will lead you.