‘That’s how I lost my front teeth’ — Dudes drummer Scott Ross (second from l) has had a rough go lately.

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All I Want for Christmas is My 3 Front Teeth
Broken City
Broken City
Thursday, December 17 - Thursday, December 17 Friday, December 18 - Friday, December 18

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Throughout 2009, Dudes drummer Scott Ross has been rolling through a serious rough patch. Following the release of the Calgary band’s latest album, Blood, Guts, Bruises, Cuts (way too many jokes already about that title’s self-fulfilling prophecy), Ross took a nasty BMX bicycle spill resulting in the loss of his three front teeth, road-rash on the face and the maiming of his signature mustache.

Flash forward to the Dudes’ current cross-Canada tour and he’s now broken both of his knees after slipping in the snow then being dragged 30 feet underneath a car. Ross can’t walk, but miraculously he’s already back behind the kit (minus a hi-hat) and seems to be in surprisingly good spirits.

“Yeah, I've been cursed a bit lately,” says Ross with chipper understatement. “I was biking home from the last Hot Little Rocket show — R.I.P. — and someone called my name on the sidewalk. When I looked over my handlebars I clipped a car mirror, spinning the front tire sideways and me and my kisser right into the cement. That’s how I lost my front teeth.

“More recently I was on tour in Thunder Bay in a snowstorm trying to hail a cab, and this is a really long story with a cool Indiana Jones kind of sliding-under-the-car theme. The point is I got hit really, really hard and both my legs are now very messed up.”

Sadly, Ross is not alone in the album title’s curse. That same damn BMX bike gifted Dudes frontman Dan Vacon with 12 staples to the head, a busted collarbone and a massive bruise he nicknamed “Bruce.” More recently, Vacon was skiing at Lake Louise and broke the other side of his collarbone in a head-on collision with a tree. The album’s photographer, Randy Gibson, was knocked into a parked car by a rambunctious friend and got some head staples of his own. Finally, a girl broke her ankle kicking a fence on The Dudes’ music video shoot for their song “Girl Police.”

To help show their support and raise some money for Ross’s spiraling medical bills, members of the Calgary music community have come together for a two-night benefit event at Broken City. Thursday, December 17 will feature performances from Key to the City, Dojo Workhorse, Matt Olah and Night Committee, while Friday, December 18 finds The Neckers, Sabretooth(less) and Miesha Louie joining The Dudes onstage for a homecoming rocker.

“I'm pretty proud to be a part of a community that's banded together so fast to help out our buddy Scott Ross,” says Louie. “As musicians and artists, there isn't really a lot we can do for one another in a situation like this, besides bringing over a cheap six-pack and making a get-well-soon card. We [typically] don't have the luxury of extra cash lying around to help ourselves out if we lose our teeth and get hit by a car, let alone offer it up to a friend. If we can host a night of live music and earn the guy some cash to help out, we'd better do it.”

Back on the road, Ross is happy to report that the tour is going well. Vacon, guitarist Bob Quashnick, bassist Brady Kirchner and sound guy Phil Cimolai are there to help out with the drummer’s lack of mobility at the moment, though he does admit they’ve had their fair share of hindrances following the Thunder Bay incident.

“Winter tours are always tough in Canada, and it doesn't really help when your drummer is in an accident and pretty useless,” Ross quips. “Since I've been hit, I've learned a lot about my bandmates. I can't even put on my own shoes, and they’ve been there to help me with everything. I have four of the rock ’n’ rollingest nurses ever! I also learned I have four of the best friends a guy could ever hope for.”

All Ross wants for Christmas are his three front teeth. So what about the other Dudes? “I'm sure the other guys would like a day off from helping me stand or putting on my socks. For Christmas, I'm gonna get me a long-ass shoehorn. It will be the best gift I could get them. And Brady wants an iPhone.”