I. Bat For Lashes

This October, well-produced songstress Natasha Khan will deliver The Haunted Man, her third album as Bat for Lashes. Regardless of what you think about the music itself (for the record, my two cents will almost definitely be a giant, wheezing “meh”), it points to an irritating trend I’ve noticed in the world of online album hype: the “NSFW” indicator. I know you all think it’s a wonderful communication tool for well-adjusted people to share niceties with one another, but the reality is that there’s a mouth-breathing perv or two hanging out on the Internet. And when they see something labelled as “not safe for work,” they’re gonna click the shit out of it in the hopes that the link will supply a bit of nip, lip or dick tip. The reality is that the album art for Bat for Lashes’ new record is pretty tame, as Natasha Khan’s body is entirely covered up by the naked man she has around her shoulders. But the fact that they’re both butt naked is still a better selling point than “Here’s some more indie pop for your Starbucks playlist.”

II. A-Trak

Now that EDM is a term we’re all using, it’s worth noting that the EDM community has been plagued with some EDM in-fighting. Last month, mouse-masked loudmouth deadmau5 (a.k.a. Joel Zimmerman) posted a Tumblr post entitled “we all hit play,” where he warned music fans not to take their favourite electronic performers too seriously as live entities. Now, hip-hop-whiz-turned-production-great A-Trak has bounced back with a retort in the Huffington Post called “Don’t Push My Buttons.” While he aligns himself with many of deadmau5’s sentiments, he points out that it’s important to make the distinction between DJs and producers who DJ live. Having won the world DJ championships five times, A-Trak knows a thing or two about turntablism. Aside from that important distinction, however, the best part of A-Trak’s article is his non-judgmental tone as he points out that EDM will avoid falling into hair metal’s rise and fall if live performers approach their audience and their craft with a desire to challenge themselves.

III. A$AP Rocky

Harlem rap great A$AP Rocky was supposed to perform on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last week, and given the likelihood that The Roots would sit in I was excited to check it out. But then some cooking lady was on instead. So what happened? Well, A$AP got himself arrested. According to various reports, two amateur photographers started snapping shots of the pretty motherfucker and a full-on fight allegedly broke out, with one of the photogs claiming to have suffered cuts and bruises. There’s also hazy details that Rocky’s being charged with attempted robbery, though it’s unclear how that all fits in. All I know is that now he’s announced a North American A$AP Mob tour with support from Danny Brown and it’s not coming anywhere near here, so he can go to prison as far as I care.

IV. Rick Ross

For a dude who has written the same song over the same beat hundreds of times, Rick Ross sure is fascinating. It helps that his home life is so interesting. Take, for example, a recent interview with Bon Appétit magazine, where The Bawse took some time out of his schedule to discuss his eating habits. And what did we learn? Sometimes he orders three main course meals so that he can take home his lobster bisque and eat it for breakfast. Other times he wakes up in the middle of the day and gets his 24-hour food staff to make him some tacos. When he flies, he eats light so he doesn’t have to do his business in those little bathrooms. And when he’s going on a date, he brings girls to the Wingstop restaurant he owns. “I know she wants fancy wine and all that, but boy, I’ll get you a nice lemonade to go with those lemon-pepper wings.” Rick Ross rules.

V. Tim Heidecker

Because he’s some sort of inhuman comedy machine, Tim Heidecker took a break from producing incredible television, making his hilarious On Cinema podcast and touring his stand-up act, and decided to record a new Bob Dylan song. You see, rumour has it that Dylan’s upcoming album Tempest has a 14-minute song about the Titanic. A master of one-upping, Heidecker posted his own 15-minute song about the Titanic on his Tumblr. “I wrote this song to see if I could beat the Master to it. I can’t wait to see how close I got to the real thing!” We’re guessing Dylan won’t focus as much on the James Cameron/Leonardo DiCaprio film, but only time will tell.