Falling in Reverse

Because you probably don’t hate yourself, you probably haven’t checked out a new Epitaph band in a little while. Well, the once mighty home of SoCal pop-punk acts is now peddling what just might be the worst music imaginable. You may have heard of Skip the Foreplay, the Godless mix of dubstep and Québécois chongo metal, but they actually sound like Mercyful Fate when placed aside labelmates Falling in Reverse. Teased hair, tight pants and bad makeup are the least of these clowns’ worries, as their music falls somewhere between Avenged Sevenfold, Alien Ant Farm and the sound of a million buttholes farting at once. Anyway, the band’s douche nozzle of a frontman, Ronnie Radke, was recently arrested for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend. This follows a prison-stint related to probation violation in 2007. All in all, it just makes me miss the Epitaph of yore. Say what you will about the music of Ten Foot Pole, but at least their singer wasn’t a classless goofball dipped in guyliner.

No Warning

Along with the news that Fucked Up are indeed working on a new album, pint-sized songwriter Ben Cook has also been keeping busy with his long-running Young Governor project and, most recently, some disco sex jams with Yacht Club. Still, his best release of 2012 just might be a recorded voicemail that just hit his blog. Back in the early ’00s, Cook fronted No Warning, a Toronto hardcore institution that started off sounding like Madball and ended sounding like Madball covering Sum 41’s metal songs. In between those two eras, there was a bidding war to sign the band. And one of the bros who came calling was none other than fitted-cap rocking, soulful soul-patch bearing Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst. Cook just posted a voicemail from the nü-metal man baby, and it’s just as amazing as you’d expect, particularly when the phrase “hard and phat” is repeated.

Earl Sweatshirt

Everyone who has convinced themselves that they hate Odd Future because of their shock-inducing misogynistic lyrics will need to find a new excuse, because the members of the divisive rap crew have all moved on. In a recent Twitter update, the beloved Earl Sweatshirt revealed that his upcoming solo album will see him going in a brand new direction thematically. “Everyone whose favourite song off EARL was ‘Epar’ or whatever might be pretty bummed,” he said, referencing his controversial early single. “I anticipate a loss of fans. I also anticipate gaining some. So. You know. Yeah. I hope I lose you as a fan if you only fuck with me cause I rapped about raping girls when I was 15.”

Ladyhawk

If there’s anyone who deserves the tag “new Canadiana,” my money’s on Vancouver crew Ladyhawk. On the surface, they’re playing no-frills indie rock with hints of Neil Young twang, but there’s something modern, timeless and transcendent about their delinquent anthems. With that in mind, it’s a pretty big deal that they’re breaking a four-year silence with the release of their third proper album, No Can Do, on October 9. Be sure to save a slot on your best of 2012 lists.

Julie Doiron

Speaking of Canadiana, beloved East Coast songstress Julie Doiron has started a new band with two members of Cancer Bats and Eamon McGrath. Yes, it’s a pretty out-there lineup, but Doiron has yet to do us wrong in her long and illustrious career. At this point, I feel like she could team up with Love Inc. and Bran Van 3000 on a Chris Sheppard Pirate Radio mix and it’d still have the nation swooning.