There’s really no better band to be releasing a new record on the weekend leading up to Halloween than The Browns. At times affectionately known as The Motherfucking Browns, the long-running group is nearly 15 years deep in a career of snotty, hardcore-influenced punk rock. While the members’ darkest secret is that they’re actually nice guys, they don their balaclavas as The Browns and transform into pure assholes, singing the praises of timeless rock ’n’ roll archetypes like bad drugs and cheap sex.

On their brand new split with Lethbridge garage-pop trio The Moby Dicks, The Browns bring more of the mayhem with two chaotic punk songs. Sure, it’s only three-and-a-half minutes of music, but the balls-to-the-wall guitars, gang vocals and frontman Charlie Brown’s inimitable ’70s punk wail pack ample punches into the brief runtime. “Big Drill Cock” is as immature as you’d guess, though the floor-tom intro will have you circle pitting in your bedroom before you have a chance to consider how dumb it is. “From the Deep” tames the stupid a bit in favour of a Dead Boys guitar lick and a shout-along chorus.

Flip this thing over and The Moby Dicks offer up a much poppier take on punk with their pair of tracks. While the melodies are saccharine, however, the production is covered in a layer of lo-fi mud, giving the tracks an added dimension of snottiness. Both “Harlequin Man” and “Intelligent Man” add songwriting complexity to the band’s straightforward MO, but it’s still all about keeping it stupid simple and having the best time.

Ultimately, this is an ideal record for smashing plates, shotgunning beers and generally being a cretin in your apartment. It’s further proof that brain-bashing punk is still going strong. And while it may be an act, The Browns further prove a timeless point: assholes make the best rock ’n’ roll.

JOSIAH HUGHES

Fast Forward Weekly: Why do The Browns go through members so fast?

Charlie Brown: There have been 18 different members in the band since 1998. Nobody’s worthy of being in bands with me. Myself and Downtown Freddy Brown, he was in the band for a while, and then he wasn’t in the band for a while, and now he’s back in the band. He’s redeemed himself. We’re the only two original members. He might even get kicked out too, we’ll see.

In the time that you’ve been a band, how have you seen the punk scene in Calgary change?

It has always been shit. It’s nice when there’s girls in bands. Outside of that, most bands are stupid in Calgary. The worst band in Calgary is Spastic Panthers. Just look at them.

Why did you do a split with The Moby Dicks?

You know what, they’re all right. I dig The Moby Dicks. But they’re not from Calgary, they’ve got that going for them.

How come you’re not called The Motherfucking Browns anymore?

We still are. What’s it to you? Who cares?

I noticed you didn’t have the guts to put that on the cover of your new record.

I don’t even know what’s on our new record. I just saw it yesterday. That album cover is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. If I had anything to do with it, it wouldn’t look like that at all. It would have a picture of me. I don’t know what that image is supposed to be. It’s horrible.

How come you don’t play shows too often?

I don’t think the city wants us playing very often. They can’t pay us enough to play very often, and there are enough shitty bands already playing too often. We’ll tell you when we’re going to play. You don’t ask us to play, we tell you when we want to play and that’s all you get.

Why haven’t you released an album since 2004? Is it laziness?

Who are you calling lazy? I don’t know. There were a lot of TV shows on this fall. Breaking Bad isn’t going to watch itself you know.

The Browns and The Moby Dicks play a record release show on Saturday, October 29 at The Palomino.