Henry Poole is Here, and like a DVD store that only stocks Seventh Heaven, he’s overwrought, incredibly hokey and a largely pointless addition to the neighbourhood.
The film seems to exist entirely to promote a ridiculously obvious, beat-you-over-the-head message, and much like the book Oprah helped sell a bazillion copies of last year, its base concept is this: ordinary people can do extraordinary things if they simply have faith. What could have been an interesting premise is instead mired in an unending stream of slow-motion sequences set to music and overloaded with saccharine romantic and religious revelations crafted to make grandmas blubber.
Luke Wilson stars as the sad-sack protagonist, who moves to a California suburb full of quirky one-note characters. After buying a home from his chirpy realtor (Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Cheryl Hines), Henry discover that a water stain on the side of his house sort of looks like Jesus. This sends his eavesdropping, overly excitable neighbour Esperanza (Adrianna Barazza) into a frenzy, with the belief that this stain of Turin can also be a source of miracle healing. Soon enough, spectacled teenage cashier Patience (Rachel Seifirth) and the non-speaking six-year-old next door, Millie (Morgan Lily), start to believe as well, which only angers Henry further.
Radha Mitchell portrays Dawn, Millie’s mother and Henry’s obligatory romantic interest, with a subtle skill that’s sadly wasted here. She was similarly excellent in both Finding Neverland and Melinda and Melinda, so what is Mitchell doing diving headfirst into this schlockfest? Wilson’s involvement is more understandable, as outside of Mike Judge’s Idiocracy and My Super Ex-Girlfriend (bet you’d forgotten about that one), he’s never had a place in the spotlight like his brother Owen. There’s a reason for this, however, and it’s that Luke is only capable of acting bored, making him more of a Richie Tenenbaum than a Royal.
Its dopey message aside, Henry Poole is Here is still a terrible movie. With Pellington at the helm, the film’s simple point comes across as laughably contrived, or even straight-up propaganda. It will undoubtedly find an audience, but the rest of us can take comfort in the fact that Henry Poole won’t come knocking at our door.