Wil Andruschak

Why do people love you so much?

I would argue that no one loves Jett Thunders. Jett loves Jett and the love falls after that. And that’s just perfectly fine, thank you very much.

Who is Jett Thunders?

Jett Thunders came about because, frankly, there isn’t enough metal around. Jett’s mantra is: All metal, all the time. It’s the tale of two moms. For example, one mom will say, “I don’t want you hanging around Jett Thunders.” Another mom says, “I wish he would move out of my basement.”

When will you move out of your parents’ basement?

Hey, if the fridge is full, Jett is staying.

If you landed a job, what would that be?

Probably a BMX technician. I build the sweetest jumps of all-time. And the bunny-hop is lame. It’s about sweet jumps and popping wheelies and about watching the girls go “Ooh-la-la.”

How did you get hooked up with CJSW?

It’s a funny thing because Jett Thunders put in a proposal with Larry the Hack to take over the radio station as The Cobra — again, all metal, all the time — and you know, it didn’t fly very well so Jett has since become the go-to guy whenever they are in trouble. So, for student referendums, Jett’s there. For not picking up girls, Jett’s there. It’s all those things that Jett tries to be, but he isn’t. So that allows him to stay at CJSW.

What’s the best band ever?

It has to be Van Halen because every song written is the best song ever.

Who does your hair?

Sharrif does my hair. It’s fantastic. The mullet is a hair cut that people make fun of. But let’s face it friends, the reason the mullet is so fantastic is because it has its own name. What’s your haircut called? Ask yourself that question before you make fun of a mullet again. What’s your hairstyle called? Loser? Huh?

If you could change CJSW, what would you do?

Oh, wow. Let’s start with: How do you wake up in the morning? A little Guns and Roses. This jazz stuff, that’s the problem with the licence. They’ve got jazz and blues, vogue and hip hop, electronica and whatever they call that rock’n’roll music. Seriously, how do you get out of bed in the morning? Three letters: G’n’R. You got Van Halen and just metal all over the place. We’ll throw in some Platinum Blonde. Maybe. A little bit. Here’s the prerequisite: All the bands have to be from the ’80s and all the bands have to have big hair that’s flammable.

How did the station manage to stay around for 25 years?

It’s a miracle. I’m surprised that someone hasn’t filed a complaint with the CRTC. This diversity that they have, I mean, pick a lane, pick a lane. Oh, I want to be this, this is new. It’s no good if it’s not metal.

When will you start your own band?

Ooooh. That’s the only problem. My mom won’t let me have my own drum set. I excelled at it after watching so many episodes of the Muppets. I can’t play a guitar. Vocally, I think it’s where I can start, but all those ads I put in Fast Forward Weekly go unanswered every week. I’m still looking for a band that will allow Jett Thunders to be the best player he can be. The mailbox is continuously empty.

What do you think of Chad Saunders?

You know, that guy is such a wannabe try-hard. He’s like, “Hey, Jett, can I borrow your pants,” and I’m like, “No.” The guy is totally cramping my style. He’s always trying to cherry-pick. He’s a copycat wannabe. And he’ll just have to be a second-rate Jett in Jett’s eyes.

How are things on the lady or man front, whatever it is that you prefer?

This is a cloudy issue, it’s an awkward issue. Let’s just say, I was the king of the dance floor in junior high and I haven’t had glory days since then.

Are you working up to having your own show?

I just finished the training here. I get dizzy playing Nintendo and I don’t finish the training, but, oh yeah, all the gears are grindin’. And I will get a show one day and it will probably be the greatest thing. I think commercial radio will be trembling in their boots once Jett hits the airways permanently.

What will you be doing at the 25th anniversary party?

I’ll be trying to sneak in. My allowance barely covers things that are important to me. So, if I can get in, I will definitely be heckling people, saying, “Where’s the metal? I’m sorry, I was told Van Halen was here.” I think that was in one of their ads and I’m going to cry false advertising if he’s not there.