Apart from the usual suspect — a scintillating piece of rich dark chocolate — I don’t often think of food as a conduit to a steamy session in the bedroom. It’s not as if I’m overcome with X-rated thoughts, drooling at the thought of a fresh tomato.

Well, there might be a wee bit of drool as the tasty plump red fruit touches my lips. But, when I imagine gorging on a decadent meal next to my man, I think of finishing off the course with a huge ground-shaking… sigh. Next to me he slowly unbuttons the top of his jeans and slides into his chair and… lets what little flab he has roll just slightly over his jeans. The thought doesn’t exactly inspire me to grab him in a fit of passion and shove him into the bedroom.

And yet, if you eat well and stay away from junk food, a healthy meal can actually get your blood circulating and give you the energy you need to kick-start your libido, according to Shannon Loeber and Mary Edwards, the authors of Wisewomen’s Cookery: Food, Sex, Magic and Merriment.

Meat, milk, dairy and, of course, chips and candy make us feel as if we’re about to give birth to a food baby. Even foods that give you a temporary sugar high, eventually make you crash. But healthy food — especially vegetables and fruit — not only revitalize us; it affects our bodies in ways that make us more alluring.

It’s not witchcraft. You don’t have to create elixirs and magic potions to use food as a means for seduction. Even the smell of some foods can open your senses and make you hot for some good old-fashioned lovin’.

Parsley, yes, parsley, has loads of minerals and vitamins, as well as chlorophyll, which aides in digestion and makes you feel less sluggish. It also makes you smell and, ahem, taste better. Lavender induces euphoria. And hot peppers, well, they contain a natural chemical that releases endorphins — the same ones released during orgasm. I think I might start putting chili pepper in everything.

Just the same, if you want to experience the sensual side of food, you have to start cooking with intention. As Loeber and Edwards write: “It’s not just about throwing some food on the counter; it’s about feeling sexual and sensual and setting the scene.” That’s something, it seems, that doesn’t always come easy. Trust me. I know.

I tried to set the scene, but it was a disaster. To start, it wasn’t easy finding the right meal, as I’m vegetarian and my man loves a thick, juicy slice of steak.

I chose what I thought was a crowd pleaser, but still I was the only one who ate the meal — a delicious pasta dish with fresh basil and squished cherry tomatoes in olive oil. The fresh basil smelled intoxicating, and squishing the tomatoes through my fingers was strangely soothing. It turns out my man doesn’t like pasta (especially not whole wheat pasta).

When I started cooking there was a whole other set of problems. The fire alarm was the only thing getting off, repeatedly, and when I poured oil into the pan, it started sizzling and spurting. A couple crazed drops jumped right out of the pan and onto my guy’s arm and burned him. At least a part of him was burning up.

Not a great start to a romantic dinner, and he didn’t even unbutton his pants.