I’ve been fighting against it despite all the pleas and testimonials from friends who say it’s the only way to go. It’s how my dad met his fiancée and it’s how my best friend met her affluent Scottish beau. For both of them it happened just as they were about to throw in the towel.

On dating sites, they found partners who compliment them and want to engage in a serious relationship, but this was after numerous bizarre encounters with the wrong people. My dad met a woman who tried to seduce him on a pagan altar and my friend had a doctor grope her on a first date in a movie theatre. I wanted to find out why they were compelled to keep casting a line into the online pool.

Vanessa, another close friend, found “Steve” on a site she uses. He and I had similar interests: Spanish, art, travelling, family and pizza. Vanessa and I sent him a message through her profile and I added him on Facebook. He seemed normal, has a teenage daughter and was persistent in arranging a date.

The first plans we made, I cancelled the morning of. I couldn’t muster the desire to meet a stranger. I did a bikini boot camp workout instead. The following weekend was Valentine’s Day, and I was feeling nostalgic, so I agreed to a second appointment. I walked to our meeting point, a deli in my neighbourhood, and when I saw his car turn into the parking lot I cowered, ran around to the backside of a building and called Vanessa.

“I can’t turn the corner!” I gasped in panic. She tenaciously tried to convince me that I had to, but I just wasn’t able. I text-cancelled in-between his calls and he responded with a flood of texts, the last of which read, “You are an immature, rude person. I’m glad I never met you! Flakes suck!” I was relieved that I bailed.

It’s not as though I never take risks. I hitchhike, travel by myself and have never had a problem engaging in spontaneous, romantic encounters abroad. What made this so different and terrifying? I realized it was the fact that I am making plans with a person that I have had no previous physical contact with. No scent, no handshake, no eye contact. One surfs through hundreds upon thousands of pictures, most of them outdated or taken by the subject themselves at arm’s length, and pick ones that strike you. It’s like catalogue shopping.

Vanessa has been averaging nearly three dates per week with people she meets on her preferred dating site. Her BlackBerry emits a never-ending hum of alerts every time a new potential mate messages. So why does she keep at it? “It’s got to work with someone,” she says.

My dad and friends who have found love online say it has worked for them because they don’t go to bars, they work out and eat at home and they knew what they were looking for. A few of them have kids and sought partners who also have children.

It’s all so rational, but for those like me, who don’t know if “the one” will be 5’11” with brown hair, an athletic build and a Christian religious view, love will have to be left to a chance meeting. Offline. As I found out the hard way, once you acquiesce to an online suitor you can’t just log out; you have to hide.