Back to school and time to hit the books. Here’s what there is to learn about sex this fall.
    • Tristan Taormino’s The Expert Guide to Oral Sex, Part 1: Cunnilingus and The Expert Guide to Anal Sex (Vivid Ed)
    Not technically a book, this series is described as “sex ed for a new generation” and is perfect for the eager student looking to hone their technique. Unlike most instructional sex videos, which are painful to watch due to their earnestness and bad lighting, Taormino balances intelligent, straightforward, practical information and smokin’ hot, well-lit images. In the Expert Guide to Oral Sex, Justine Joli gives a tongue-on demonstration to a handful of curious couples who later demonstrate their own likes, dislikes and techniques in a series of sexy scenes available with or without commentary. Taormino even makes dental dams look hot in an “extra” safer sex short.
    To win a copy of these two DVDs, what is the fourchette on a woman?
    a) The crease where the thigh meets the crotch.
    b) A reference to the “V” shape of the clitoral hood.
    c) Another name for the cervix.
    d) The opening of the vagina.

    • 2033: The Future of Misbehaviour Interplanetary Dating, Madame President, Socialized Plastic Surgery and Other Good News From the Future (Chronicle Books)
    Another smart, fun and clever title from the folks at Nerve.com, the website described by Entertainment Weekly as “Playboy’s body with the New Yorker’s brains.” Assembled by the editors of Nerve, this book of short fiction features stories from an imagined sexual future in which the U.S. Food and Drug Administration recalls faulty retractable and convertible penises, interplanetary dating allows for trysts with the16-foot inhabitants of Saturn, where only group sex is legal, and implanted chastity belts, the Church of Jesus Christ of Gay Latter-Day Saints and a100 per cent divorce rate are the norm.
    To win a copy, according to Rick Moody’s “Notes on Redevelopments,” which is included in this collection, what are SGPPs?
    a) Super-galactic pornography projectors.
    b) Self-guiding pornographic production stations.
    c) Solar-G-spot positioning paraphernalia.
    d) Sonically guided penis protectors.

    • Buh Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped by Em and Lo (Chronicle Books)
    Learn the subtle differences between a “leg-clinger” and a “bunny-boiler” and get coached through a quick and painless “Band-Aid” break or find out if you just got “stealth dumped” or simply “benched.”
    Breakups suck no matter which side of the chopping block you’re on, but Buh Bye will kiss it and make it better with helpful tips on breakup etiquette, sob stories sadder than your own and lots of disparaging remarks about your ex. For more info about Em and Lo, visit emandlo.com.
    To win a copy, according to Em and Lo, what is a “faux hawk?”
    a) a post breakup haircut
    b) someone who fakes heartbreak to get a sympathy fuck
    c) someone who sympathizes with someone who has been recently dumped in order to convince this person to have sex with them
    d) an insincere breakup

    • I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller (Marlowe & Company)
    Hey, who doesn’t love female orgasm? From how to have an orgasm during intercourse to G-spots, multiples, oral sex and female ejaculation, Solot and Miller — longtime sex educators and a couple in real life — tell you everything you ever wanted to know about coming. And bonus, the authors are donating 10 per cent of book royalties to Breast Cancer Action.
    To win a copy, what was illegal in the states of Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma and Texas until June 2003?
    a) oral sex between different –sex couples
    b) oral sex outside of marriage
    c) oral sex between same-sex couples
    d) oral sex with the president of the United States

    • Crossdressing: Erotic Stories, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Cleis Press)
    Yet another great erotic story collection from the folks at Cleis Press. From femmes who channel Marlene Dietrich in the sexiest of suits to husbands who prowl through their wive’s underwear drawers loving nothing more than the feel of being tucked into silk panties, these stories tell us what happens when you cross the gender divide and mix things up in and out of the bedroom.
    To win a copy, what did Marlene Dietrich once say about diaphragms?
    a) that they were a pain in the cooch
    b) that they were the best invention since pancake makeup
    c) that they were the best invention since sliced bread
    d) that they go best with a cigarette
    Please send answers to letters@joseyvogels.com. Winners will be drawn from all correct answers and will be announced along with answers in an upcoming column.