“In actuality, it seems that most people can more comfortably discuss murder and rape than anal pleasure,” writes butt-sex expert Jack Morin, author of Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men and Women.

It’s all God’s fault. OK, maybe it’s not all his fault, but he’s the guy who took it upon himself to wipe out the entire city of Sodom. The story goes that the townsfolk were into bum sex, which God didn’t approve of for whatever reason (maybe He was just feeling left out). Thanks to His wrath, buggery’s gotten a bum rap ever since.

The taboo surrounding anal sex isn’t just rooted in homophobia, however. We are the Mr. Clean society — devoted to eradicating every natural body odour and euphemizing every bodily function and its excretions. A butt hole, despite being a highly erogenous and potentially accommodating orifice, is “dirty” because that’s where, well, you know, number two comes out. “It’s made for stuff to come out of. Why would you want to stick anything up there?” a girlfriend states matter-of-factly. Because everyone tells you not to, silly.

“Taboos... never really eliminate the behaviours and feelings they forbid,” writes Morin. “Instead, these desires go ‘underground,’ both individually and collectively.... In this way, a taboo gives the forbidden feeling or behaviour an inflated significance.”

As is evidenced by the glut of rectally inspired porn: Anal Angel, Hot Tales from the Backside, Analmania, Rearing Rachel, Anal Security Squad, Backing In, Backdoor Brides, the Buttman series, Backdoor Beauties, Rump Humpers, or, my personal favourite, Anal Lust 1 & 2 (Red Hot Butt Banging Poop Chute Action).

Dr. Marc Ravart, a sexologist and psychologist at Montreal General Hospital and in private practice, believes anal intercourse with women is such a common theme in heterosexual pornography because it has that deviant edge without being too “out there.” And since men are still the primary consumers of porn, Buttman et al. put ideas in their heads and, next thing you know, they’re knocking at your back door, trying to convince you to “tryyy it you’ll liiike it.”

I remember being with one guy when I was much younger who wouldn’t give it up. It tugged at our lovemaking, constantly. One day, I brought a cucumber to bed and said, “You first!” That slowed him down a little. I know there are plenty of women who genuinely enjoy a little “poop-chute action.” It’s just that, if the guy’s not careful, it’s potentially much more of a pain in the butt for us — literally. Which kinda kills the enthusiasm.

“It’s easier for men to sexualize it,” Ravart believes. “There’s less association with pain and more with pleasure.” And being such a nice, tight fit and all, he says some men believe that “if he feels it more, she’ll feel him inside her more than in her vagina. It’s very important to some men to have her feel him inside her as much as possible.”

For some men, anal intercourse signifies an even more intimate connection with their female partner, says Ravart. “It’s more intense than intercourse for some couples.”

In the case of coprophilia — people who get off on tasting or smelling or smearing themselves with feces — that’s often how they talk about it, he says. “They feel like, how can you love someone more than doing this? It’s an expression of intense love,” says Ravart. “Je t’aime tant que je mangerais ta merde,” as his French relatives used to say.

Of course, most of us aren’t quite this enthusiastic. More commonly, over-enthusiasm comes in the form of hastiness. I don’t care if Buttman was able to dive right in full speed ahead, don’t even think about it. The key to anal sex is to relax and take it slow. Let her control the action. Use lube, and lots of it. And don’t forget the condom. Bum tissue tears easily — very STI-friendly.

Bottoms up!