CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) This week, it’s a darn good idea to dance with the one — or ones — who brung ya. Otherwise, you won’t get invited anywhere else any time soon. In other words, time to pay the piper before the tunes are terminated entirely!
LEO (JULY 23 — AUG. 22) Due to past bumblin’, your kingdom’s crumblin’, but you ain’t gonna help any by grumblin’. As your castle made of sand slips into the sea, look for a higher and drier spot to build the next one, preferably far away from the shore, okay?
VIRGO (AUG. 23 — SEPT. 22) You don’t need bitten-by-radioactive-insect senses to know when something’s wrong. You’re a Virgo. Something’s always wrong as far as you’re concerned. This week, let the li’l things slide or you’ll end up gettin’ burned!
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 — OCT. 22) Like a butterfly flappin’ its wings, a minor change in your daily routine will soon have a hottie hurricane headin’ in your direction. Don’t barricade yourself against this storm if you don’t wanna remain lovelorn!
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 — NOV. 21) Empty pockets? Growlin’ tummy? Once you finish the job you’ll end up getting more back from it than you were applyin’. Woohoo! Looks like this month you’re buyin’!
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 — DEC. 21) How anyone could drown in the shallow end of the pool is a mystery, but apparently that’s what you’re doin’. Quit panickin’ and move over to the deep end. At least it’ll look better in your obit!
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 — JAN. 19) Nobody can hear what you’re thinkin’ even though it’s loud and clear to you. How do you expect anyone to know what you want or need unless you open your mouth? Speak now or it’ll all head south!
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 — FEB. 18) Save yourself some headaches and go into hidin’ until the weekend. That’s when your luck should be back in town. Just make sure you muster the courage to go out into the street and greet it!
PISCES (FEB. 19 — MARCH 20) You think you’re so smart ’cause Mom showed you how matches work. Just don’t think you can blame her when you burn yourself playin’ with them. Which is what you’re doin’ right now, aren’t you?
ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) You better get your head on straight because as soon as you’re successful, your life gets more stressful. This week, don’t do somethin’ dumb just ’cause you think “there’s always more where that came from.”
TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) Hey Ferdinand! Sittin’ around bored of the same old, same old? If you want anything new to pop up in your pasture this week, you’re gonna have to quit sniffin’ flowers and start plantin’ them.
GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) Ain’t it funny how people are never worried about losin’ something until they have loads of it already? Well, if you didn’t think you’d lose at least some of it, why do you have so much? If you don’t know, let some of it go!