AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 – FEB. 18)

You can’t afford pleasure or leisure right now — you’ve got lots to work on, through which you need to plow. Distraction may bring satisfaction, but it’ll be temporary. When your work’s finished, you’ll have lots of time to make merry. This week, for goodness sake, don’t be tempted to take a break!

PISCES (FEB. 19 – MARCH 20)

You’re like an oyster in the ocean that doesn’t know why everyone in the world wants you to open. Well, it’s ’cause you’re holdin’ a pearl. You’ve got somethin’ valuable deep down inside and they all try to get you pried open wide. This week, protect your gem and don’t be so quick to turn it over to them!

ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19)

This week, you’re gonna let yourself get a wee bit too cocky and, as a result, you’ll receive some Karmic chop-socky all ’round your head. Don’t sweat it, it ain’t somethin’ to dread. In fact, bein’ surprise attacked’ll help you by showin’ you what your strategy lacked!

TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20)

You’re not to blame ’cause you’re so good at your game, but inferior players don’t always see it the same. Before the weekend, they’ll try to get in your way, but don’t let what they say sway you from what you wanna do. If they’re too slow, just go ahead and play through!

GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20)

Don’t get ticked when your ass gets kicked ’cause the only reason you ran that race is due to your bein’ tricked. You were distracted from what you really oughtta be doin’ ’cause when it comes to that, you’re a ringer and a shoo-in. Thankfully, losin’ this li’l contest’ll put you back to doin’ what you do the best!

CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22)

You’re a water sign and if there’s one thing you know about the sea, it’s how dangerous it can really be. Of course, you’re a salty ol’ dog and about as easy to sink as a balsa wood log. That’s why this week, when you sail into turbulent times, you know you’ll come out of it and into calm climes!

LEO (JULY 23 – AUG. 22)

Sorry li’l kitty, you ain’t gettin’ no pity if you take something superb and you make it real bad. It’s your own fault for not appreciatin’ what you already had. This week, don’t lose all you have tryin’ to get the best o’ the lot. Instead, do the best with what you’ve presently got!

VIRGO (AUG. 23 – SEPT. 22)

The universe wants you to yell out loud, “I’m Virgo and I’m proud! This week there ain’t nothin’ or no one who’ll get in my way! If I wanna play, then damn it, I’ll play! And if I wanna love then that’s what I’ll do — even if I need to shove my way through!”

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 – OCT. 22)

Right now, the greatest gift you can give yourself is some much-needed forgivin’ ’cause shiznit just happens in the process of livin’. It ain’t always your fault when things come to a halt, but it’s your error when you don’t start up again. This week, make peace with you so you can begin something new!

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 – NOV. 21)

You don’t get bad karma if you take what you want to — it’s the way that you do it that can come back to haunt you. Of course, when you come correct, good karma’s what you can expect. If you conduct yourself in a manner that’s honest and true, you’re untouchable ’cause nobody’s got nothin’ on you!

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 – DEC. 21)

Like Taoism teaches, weakness is strength, so this week, prostrate yourself at considerable length. Resisting and fighting just saps your resources and if you can’t beat ’em, join the opposin’ forces. If you submit, surrender, succumb and give in, you’ll find that it’s not such a battle livin’!

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 – JAN. 19)

It’s funny how givin’ into temptation can make a molehill outta the mountain you’re facin’. Sure, makin’ a deal with the devil’ll help you win your goal, but you ain’t no further ahead if you’ve won and you’re owin’ your soul. This week there ain’t no point in winnin’ the race if victory results in you losin’ face!

You can contact The Kid at cruisinthecosmos@hotmail.com.