AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 – FEB. 18)

Hey, if you’re thinkin’ that life sucks ’cause you lack the loot that’ll allow you to lay back and relax for the rest of your life, then look out! Gettin’ the goods may not actually give you that gratification, guys ’n’ gals. In fact, it’ll gum up the works even worse if you give it half a chance.

PISCES (FEB. 19 – MARCH 20)

As hard as it is for water to sit in one place, that’s what you wanna do next week. You don’t have to be cold, frozen and lifeless like ice. Just be still and reflective like a serene pond. Watch closely, take note of what’s goin’ down and don’t wig out when your buttons are pushed, which they will be. But you’ll have the last laugh. You’ll see!

ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19)

C’mon, cutie, use your considerable charisma and charm this week to coax out those opportunities you seek. You’ll have plenty of appeal, so if you’re offered a deal — jump on it. But do it quick, before you have to kick yourself, kiddo! Chances like this only come once in a while and they don’t stick around for long, either.

TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20)

Love can sour with a surge of success, especially if you seek only to stimulate and satisfy your senses at any expense. To put such a priority on impulsively pursuing your own pleasure will put your personal relationships in a precarious position. Now more than ever you’ve gotta make a practical decision.

GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20)

You, on the other hand, need to do exactly the opposite of what Taurus was told. Your love of impulsiveness and excess will serve you well this week when it causes you to coincidentally (?) stumble on a situation that could cement your success. Start talkin’, you quicksilver-tongued devil, you.

CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22)

You gotta love Cancers ’cause no matter how mean the world might get, they can still keep their kindness. Maybe it’s ’cause they’re conscious of the fact they’re cradled in the arms of a caring cosmos or ’cause they’re calculatin’ that what you give is what you get. Either way, it seems like they’re makin’ a pretty safe bet.

LEO (JULY 23 – AUG. 22)

Change is power. Just ask any woman who keeps her man by keepin’ him guessin’. That’s the strategy you should be stressin’, so get in your opponent’s mind and start messin’. If they’re too nervous about tryin’ to predict your next move, they’ll work out a truce just to make life go smooth.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 – SEPT. 22)

Remember the good ol’ days? Like in Japan, if a ship sank when it was being launched, the head engineer-type person would have to engage in some hari-kari hijinx? Or when ships sunk at sea, the cap’n went down with it? In retrospect, is that honour? Or just some suckers who bought their boss’s B.S. in a big way?

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 – OCT. 22)

Let’s just say temptation is out to get you this week, but let’s not say what it’s gonna grab you by. Don’t worry too much ’cause the only way it’ll win is if you let it. The slightest slip and you’ll be in its tight grip, but if you put up some resistance, you’ll soon get some assistance. The cavalry’s a comin’!

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 – NOV. 21)

Wanna learn an ancient Chinese secret? Some sage scribe named Wang wrote a book about the best way of beatin’ the other guy. It’s called “The Thirty-Six Strategies.” This week, stick with #11: "Sacrifice the plum tree to preserve the peach tree."

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 – DEC. 21)

This week’s gonna be a weird one when your dreams and desires, as well as the drive to do what's necessary to develop them, will come in direct confrontation with your conscience. This could cause quite a crappy outcome, but not if you carefully consider the consequences first and avoid lettin’ others bear the worst.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 – JAN. 19)

Y’know, you goat people have got it goin’ on pretty good right now. Whaddaya wanna go messin’ around with that for? The grass is always greener on the other side, but wait till you actually get there. You’re in for a big surprise — greed had you hypnotized.

You can contact The Kid at cruisinthecosmos@hotmail.com