CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 – JAN. 19)

Don’t ever underestimate the magnetic attraction of an earth sign ’cause baby, you are full of gravitational pull. Currently your tractor beam is workin’ to bring you success in your scheme. However, this week beware ’cause you’ll also attract those who’ll dare to stab you in the back!

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 – FEB. 18)

When you’re feelin’ kinda faint it’s a symptom that you ain’t got that much left to give. It’s fine ’n’ dandy to be helpful ’n’ handy, but if you wanna live, you’ve gotta start to put a tourniquet on your bleedin’ heart. This week, shovel your neighbour’s walk if you must — but not if it means that your back will bust!

PISCES (FEB. 19 – MARCH 20)

Though it seems that lately fair play’s been ignored, justice will soon come and kick ass with her sword. Hey, as long as you haven’t been the proverbial dog in the manger, you don’t have to worry ’bout bein’ in no karmic danger. This week, observe the rules when you play and the lucky breaks will come your way!

ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19)

What happened to the self-centred sonuvagun that thought they were the only thing under the sun? You done become like one o’ them pollsters and won’t draw without askin’ if you can pull your piece from your holster. This week, work on reducin’ the gulf between the way you are now and bein’ a lone wolf!

TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20)

“By any means necessary” can lead you into situations that are pretty dang hairy. The means ain’t always justified by the end, ’specially if it means screwin’ over a friend. This week things will be much clearer after you take a good, long look at yourself in the mirror!

GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20)

Before you go off half-cocked, stick yourself in a room and then make sure it’s locked. Countin’ to 10 just ain’t gonna cut it, you’ve gotta find a door, walk through and then shut it. This week you’ll only get real satisfaction with thorough thinkin’ — not a knee-jerk reaction!

CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22)

You and your skills are like an old married pair — you hardly try anymore ’cause you know they’re always there. Of course, the longer you let them go stale, the greater the chance in a crisis the union will fail. This week, rekindle the flame or when your skills walk out on you, you’ll only have yourself to blame!

LEO (JULY 23 – AUG. 22)

You cats may have nine lives, but have you really been keepin’ count? Ain’t you gettin’ the creepin’ feelin’ that the numbers are startin’ to mount? Just ’cause up until now you always land on your feet don’t mean that you can’t be beat. This weekend, the more you’re humble the less distance you’ll fall if you stumble!

VIRGO (AUG. 23 – SEPT. 22)

When your back’s against the wall, who you gonna call? If the only answer you could come up with was “Ghostbusters” then you’re in a lot bigger trouble than you think. That’s ’cause this week no amount of persistence will get you half as far as askin’ for assistance!

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 – OCT. 22)

You may be all cozy ’n’ rosy in your ivory tower, but that naturally happens when you get too used to power. Heck, Buddha had no clue how hard life could be till he ditched his pop’s palace and walked the streets aimlessly. This week, sacrifice ain’t no reason for freakin’ ’cause it ain’t that much, relatively speakin’!

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 – NOV. 21)

Your grip is startin’ to slip, so it’s time to get hip on the kung-fu tip. First and foremost, you can’t use force on your foe — you’ve gotta use your foe’s force against themselves. This week, wait for the attack then turn it around and send it right back!

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 – DEC. 21)

If you’re the visionary then it’s pretty scary that you currently don’t seem to be able to see further than your schnozzle. Livin’ for the moment may be a blast but if you ain’t made plans for the future, you end up livin’ in the past. This week it ain’t time to stop ’cause you’re only close to, not at, the top!

You can contact The Kid at cruisinthecosmos@hotmail.com.