ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

This week it’ll seem like you’re bogged down in mire, and that the universe itself is tryin’ to extinguish your fire. Well, you’ve definitely hit a rough patch on your path, but it don’t mean you’ve incurred the cosmos’s wrath. All you’ve gotta do is keep sloggin’ through, and the way’ll soon clear up for you!

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

The longer you sit there sniffin’ flowers, the faster you diminish your powers. You need to use ’em, or lose ’em and they’ve been dormant too long, so now’s the time to start makin’ ’em strong. This week, if you take any opportunity that arises, you’ll not only get strength but also some pleasant surprises!

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

At the start of the week, it’s imperative for you to stand your ground and not let anybody push you around. For that matter, don’t let ’em pull you either. You know exactly what you need to do, so don’t let anyone manipulate you into not carryin’ through, just ’cause they’re offerin’ other opportunities to you!

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

What you need is a different kind of 12-step program. The first step is always to admit you have a problem, so stand up and say “Hi, my name is ____. I’m a Cancer and a love-aholic.” This week, it’s important that you don’t let love cloud your vision or chances are good you’ll make a bad decision!

LEO (July 23 – Aug. 22)

You’re the ruler of the jungle and, as any member of royalty can attest, your subjects don’t always think your ideas are the best. Well, that’s just tough tamales, ain’t it? If you don’t like somethin’, you can change it. This week, ignore any and all opposition, so you can truly make a fair decision!

VIRGO (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

Don’t be so hasty to chuck an idea that seems crazy as all get-out. It’s crazy, all right — like a fox. It could even collapse your self-imposed box! You’ve got nothin’ to lose and a lot to win, so why not let the games begin? There ain’t no better time to take a crack than right now, while the wind’s at your back!

LIBRA (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

This week, what’ll at first seem pretty crappy’ll end up makin’ you happy. That’s why you wanna hold off on drastic action — you’ll only end up havin’ to make a retraction, when things actually turn out to your great satisfaction. Wait for the dust to settle before you do anything where you’ll need to backpedal!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Lookin’ for a strategic jewel? This week, it’s better to play the fool. In fact, flagrant folly’ll be your best friend, by golly! Brag about bein’ a buffoon, natter on about bein’ a nut, cackle about bein’ crazy in copious amounts but remember, you’re an iceberg. It’s what they can’t see that counts!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

Looks like you’ve got the cosmic equivalent of writer’s block. Well, don’t fret, ’cause there’s hope yet. By Wednesday, you’ll be amazed at the results you’ll see when you release your creativity from captivity. If you give your imagination the free reign it deserves, it’ll maximize the potential of your brain’s reserves!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

This weekend, it’s better for you to keep to yourself, ’cause the way things are goin’ you’re gonna hurt someone else. You’ll get so caught up in pursuin’ success, that you’ll create an ensuin’ mess by either bein’ too greedy or by ventin’ your stress. Time to check your ambition before puttin’ yourself in a bad position!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

Before you consider your life as a curse, remember that even if it’s bad, it coulda been worse. It amazin’ how good lookin’ your life can be if you see it with a bit o’ relativity. It ain’t always the changes you go through that cause discomfort and strife, it’s often your lack of acceptance and your outlook on life!

PISCES (Feb. 19 – March 20)

There’s generally two things that can happen to a fish outta water. The first is that you’ll flip ’n’ flop around on the ground, flappin’ your gills, makin’ grim gaspin’ sounds while fightin’ for oxygen. The other is that you won’t let the fact you’ve got gills box you in and you’ll let the process of evolution begin!

You can contact The Kid at cruisinthecosmos@hotmail.com.