Tomb

The four main ingredients in beer are barley, water, yeast and — the most important ingredient for many beer drinkers — hop. Hops add aroma, flavour and the crucial mouth-drying component that physically encourages us to take the next great sip.

The hop plant is part of the Cannabinaceae family and, therefore, it’s marijuana’s sister. Both plants produce precious crystal-laden buds, and hops, just like pot, are known for similar sedative properties. But don’t think for a second you can smoke hop as a marijuana substitute. For those who do, prepare to cough and not get off.

Hop is a unique plant, with greater use in the pharmaceutical industry than in the brewing industry. They are the strongest phyto-estrogens known to naturally occur in the plant kingdom. Some of the uses of hop in the medical field include natural sleep aids, a naturalist form of hormone replacement for women going through menopause, a relaxant for people with nervous disorders, a digestive aid for people with stomach problems and an antifungal. The benefit to hops over pot is that they are easier on the lungs, they don’t cause short-term memory loss and, of course, they’re legal. Sadly, they won’t cure your glaucoma no matter how much beer you drink.

OK, I may have inhaled from time to time and I think most of us have friends who go on about how the strain of pot they were smoking doesn’t get them high anymore and how this new strain is shiiiit. For hardcore fans of beer, it’s inevitable that they become what beer geeks call a hophead, someone who starts to crave the hoppiest of beers — the India Pale Ale (IPA) family. I am convinced that if you change the hop you are drinking — just like potheads who change the strains they’re smoking — you will increase your mellow. Change your buds, then you’ll change your buzz.

A little Quebec brewery, Dieu du Ciel, makes an amazing IPA called Corne du Diable (Devil’s Horn for us English folk) (6.5 per cent), a big bong blast of hops that should not be missed. They also brew the equally interesting Fumisterie (Smokescreen) (5.5 per cent). Just like the starter bag of pot you bought in high school, this beer brings together the two sisters, using hemp seeds and hops. Fumisterie is a nutty amber ale that is much mellower than the hop bombs below.

 Dogfish Head 60-minute (six per cent) and 90-minute IPAs (nine per cent). Unlike the other IPAs in this column, these beers are like pot smokers who have their first hit before they get out of bed in the morning, and stay high all day long. Both brews are continuously hopped throughout the beer’s boiling process for maximum bitterness. The 60-minute is constantly hopped once a minute for 60 minutes. The process is the same for the 90-minute. While I prefer the 60-minute IPA, both brews are amazing.

HeBrew Bittersweet Lenny’s R.I.P.A (10 per cent). This beer was brewed to celebrate the life of one of the first comedians to use obscenities in his act, Lenny Bruce. Just like Lenny, this beer is obscene, as it has plenty of malts and hops. This brew uses not one, but seven, of the highest alpha acid laden hops (those with the most bitter punch): Warrior, Cascade, Simcoe, Crystal, Chinook, Amarillo and Centennial. Lenny’s R.I.P.A was out of stock in the province for close to a year, so it’s great to see this radically hopped kosher treat return. Stocks are already low, however, as it’s a hardcore hop-head favourite.

Lagunitas Hop Stoopid (eight per cent). This is the salad joint beer. Its primary bitterness comes from oils extracted from hops (hop oil, not hash oil) and then soaking precious crystal-laden buds in the oil. It’s a fat-ass joint of a beer and the most assertive of all the brews mentioned here. However, unlike most of the other hop bombs, Hop Stoopid is lighter in body and is one of the most drinkable big beers.

Although I mention a few IPAs in this article, you should explore the whole IPA section of your local beer cooler. There are great examples from numerous Canadian, American and Scottish breweries that are not mentioned.

My suggestions with all these beers is to pour them vigorously into the glass, marvel at the dense foamy head and the amber colour, then stick your nose in and be in awe of how much the two sisters smell alike.

(Editor’s note: for full disclosure, the author of this article is currently importing Dieu du Ciel into Alberta.)