| Dear Josey,
I’m 19 and have been in a relationship for three years. I shave myself but I sometimes cut my testicles. I use a shaver and a razor is out of the question. What would you suggest? Also, my girlfriend and I are waiting to have sex until marriage. My problem is that she has trouble letting me ejaculate in her mouth. It’s not so much the taste but the texture she hates. What can I do to make it better for her?
Dear Texture,
Um, stop coming in her mouth? I mean, would you want to swallow your come? Yes, it can be hot and intimate for both of you but I don’t think any woman loves to swallow (despite what you see in porn). We might like the intimacy of it, or how happy it makes you, but it’s not exactly like slurpin’ back a vanilla milkshake. Try compromising and come in or around her mouth. You get the visual and she’s spared the raw-egg swallowing sensation.
Quick question about that whole waiting to have sex thing, though? How does coming in a woman’s mouth have nothing to do with sex? Do you just do it for a larf?
As for your balls, try waxing. It hurts like hell at the time, but the pain is brief, it lasts longer, never cuts and eliminates the joys of razor burn, stubble (it grows in soft) and you get a nice, smooth baby’s-bottom finish.
Dear Josey,
I'm almost 20 and have never had an orgasm. I’ve been fooling around since I was 17 and having sex with a steady partner for a year. It’s good, but I just can't fucking come. I've been eaten out for 45 minutes and still, nothing. I’ve tried Kegels (as I write this, I am clenching and releasing the muscles in my vagina), but I don't even know how that's supposed to help. I have psoriasis, a skin disease related to stress, and I can't de-stress by coming! I have migraines, and apparently orgasms make these go away too. I've never used a dildo or a vibrator, and maybe that's the solution, but I'd like to come because of my man, not a toy. I know you’ll probably start your response with "you have to know your body" but I think I do, and still, nothing. I've heard of "anorgasmie." Could this be my problem?
Dear Orgasm,
You’re right, I would say you do have to know your body, but since you say you’ve got that down, let me address your frustration. First of all, you’re far from alone. Lots of women take forever to come from their partner, yours truly included. Unless I don’t offer some kind of manual or mechanical assistance, lockjaw or carpal tunnel are serious job hazards around my pussy. But it’s not a less legitimate orgasm if you bring in back-up. And while it’s true that orgasms can release stress and even headaches (though, in some cases, it can also cause them), I’m not sure that you achieving orgasm is suddenly going to make you psoriasis and migraine-headache free. As for Kegels, they’ll keep your muscles down there tight, possibly increasing your chances of stronger orgasms once you do get there. And since you know my "you have to know your body line" you probably don’t need my "the more you focus on the problem the less chance it’s likely to happen" speech. But I’ll risk sounding like a broken record. It’s the same principle behind why you never meet someone when you’re really trying. It happens when you’re not thinking about it and least expect it. Lay off yourself a little, and get past your "I must come by man, not machine" barrier. A vibrator will probably get you off. Try it on your own so you can be totally unselfconscious and free to let go. Once you know you’re not broken, you might be more confident leaving things in your man’s hands. Just like a guy with erectile problems might need a little blue pill to restore his confidence before he’s able to fly the trapeze without the safety net. As for whether you have anorgasmie, seeing as it’s just really a fancy French name for "I can’t fucking come," then I guess, yes. But it’s not like you can take a pill to cure it. Same advice applies. |
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