Vol. 12 #28: Thursday, June 21, 2007
Calgary's News & Entertainment Weekly
FFWD Weekly
CD REVIEWS
by FFWD WRITER
KEN ANDREWS
Secrets of the Lost Satellite
Dinosaur Fight Records

· An irritating and boring album that wears on one’s nerves.

Ken Andrews’s Secrets of the Lost Satellite is perfect fight music for two slugs who haven’t the aid of salt. Or to have playing in the background when you accidentally fall asleep in your oatmeal. Or to have ringing tinnily out of a clock radio at work as you drum your fingers against your desk and wistfully gaze out the window. Unfortunately, commenting on its unobtrusiveness is about the nicest thing anyone could say about Secrets. Indeed, more cynical parties might be inclined to call it boring.

Andrews slaps his singer-songwriter throatiness together with cliché lyrics and a verse-chorus-verse structure so predictable it wears on the nerves. At one point, he apparently conjures a synthesizer from the ether. However, after the initial shock of hearing it amidst the tired chord progressions, even it does little to save Secrets from classification as a merely-listenable drone. It might be inoffensive but, like someone quietly eating an onion sandwich on the subway, it’s inoffensive in an irritating way.

2/5

KYLE FRANCIS

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