| We’d both been super busy and were feeling a little distant. An intimate Friday night dinner at our favourite downscale Italian restaurant was just what we needed to reconnect. The bottle of wine didn’t hurt either. Neither did the dessert pints at a nearby favourite watering hole. By the time we walked home, we were once again happily drunk in each other’s love, We were also just plain drunk. And a little randy. We got to reminiscing about a steamy strip club experience we once shared (it involved a private room and too much money and that’s all I’m spilling) but were both too tired and too tax-time cash poor this particular night to replicate that little adventure.
So, instead, we got out the laptop and decided to go shopping for a threesome. We headed straight for Lavalife to create a profile in the "Intimate Encounters" section.
When he automatically assumed we were looking for a woman to join us, I got a little peeved. He should be open to another guy if I was open to another woman, right?
Simply not going to happen, he stated matter-of-factly. Truth be told, I wanted our third party to be female, too. But I still quietly resented the double standard.
Next we had to ask ourselves what we were open to. Could I actually watch my husband fuck another woman? No, I decided. I’d be cool with penetration, as long as it was with anything other than him. Could I watch him go down on another woman? Hm, that, I decided might be kinda hot. Could I watch her go down on him? I thought so.
Not surprisingly, he took little issue with the idea of me and another woman doing whatever. Though, oddly, I wasn’t sure I’d be into kissing another woman. To me, the whole threesome experience was purely about sex. Kissing was something else. I suddenly understood why so many professional gals refuse to kiss their clients.
Despite the fact that we agreed to a girl/girl/boy threesome, out of fairness and for argument’s sake, I had to ask: would he be cool with watching another guy have sex with me? Nope. Oral, giving and receiving? Yup.
It was a fascinating discussion and we were having a blast discovering our own and each other’s limits. I highly recommend it as an exercise for any couple. It also turned out to be great foreplay for some good old-fashioned twosome sex. But, amidst all the distraction, we ended up with a kind of dyke-y looking picture of me, face partly shielded by a blue cowboy and listed as a "man." We couldn’t figure out how to change it so we left it and went to bed.
Like kids on Christmas morning, we woke up full of excitement over what Lavalife might have left under the tree. Unfortunately, we quickly discovered that finding a mailbox full of nude pictures of complete strangers is kind of an excitement killer.
And that we had quite different taste in women. And that we both had a hangover.
We also decided that we’d never hear the end of it if we were discovered by any friends or family trolling around on the site. We took our profile down.
It was a fun little experiment, even though we didn’t go all the way. Maybe next time. Though we might try another route. Like a good old-fashioned bar pick-up. Or maybe we’ll save up and hire someone. Less chance things will get personal.
But that was what was most cool about the whole experience. It made us realize the strength of our own bond. Sure, if and when we actually realize this fantasy, jealousy might be an issue. You can’t know for sure. But we both really dug the feeling of knowing that, no matter what happened, sex with a third party, as long as we were both present, of course, wouldn’t threaten what we have. It made me understand why people say swinging works best with couples that’ve been together a long time. You need to be solid, before you can share. I’ve always said that, coming from a family of eight kids, I’ve done my sharing time. But I’m not so sure. I can see how, secure in a relationship, sharing could be a fun way to shake things up and inject some fresh interest. And it’s a hell of a lot healthier than trying to achieve the same effect by screwing around behind each other’s back! |
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