| There’s something about getting stabbed repeatedly that really makes you appreciate great swordplay movies. When you find yourself fending off violent death by rapier on a nightly basis, the breathtaking artistry and peril found in sword-packed films like 300 (2007) or The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) really speak to you.
Relax, guys, I’m not in the Intensive Care Unit recovering from multiple stab wounds or anything like that. I’m just pretending to get punctured in Scorpio Theatre’s production of Alexandre Dumas’s classic, The Three Musketeers, now playing Wednesdays through Saturdays until March 31 (check theatre listings for details!). Let me just say that fighting with real (albeit, blunted) swords is scary as hell, and an incredible adrenaline rush. We’ve been practicing this stuff for months now, but even so, when a yard of tempered steel flashes past your face fast enough to make a noise, you think about it. The show’s got a huge body count too, so most of the cast (including yours truly) are constantly changing into red coats in order to battle the heroes in a whirlwind of whishy-clangy blade combat.
Of course, if you’re looking for a swordplay fix, you don’t have to come see me and my friends stabbing and slashing one another a mere 11 feet in front of you (although I would so love it if you did). Instead, you can simply pick up any number of outstanding swordplay flicks on home video. Check out these notable examples in particular:
· The Three Musketeers (1973) and The Four Musketeers (1974) are actually one epic movie split into two parts. This is a really awesome version of the Dumas tale – funny, exciting and perfectly cast. The DVD to look for is The Complete Musketeers 2-Disc Set from Anchor Bay Entertainment, which also includes a terrific "making of" featurette entitled "The Saga of the Musketeers," which, like the feature, is split into two parts. In it, Michael York relates the agony of having one’s nose accidentally broken by flying swords (twice!) and real-life master swordsman Christopher Lee warns of the dangers of fencing with a drunken Oliver Reed while wearing a vision-obstructing eye patch. Musketeer aficionados should also be aware that the reportedly excellent 1948 film version of The Three Musketeers, featuring none other than Vincent Price as Cardinal Richelieu, has just been released on DVD.
· The Princess Bride (1987) – Irresistible. A charming story with some truly impressive swordplay courtesy of Mandy Patinkin and Cary Elwes. The two fence furiously, complementing each other’s technique, before switching stances and revealing that neither combatant is left handed!
· Samurai Champloo (200?) – Anime fans have a host of cool sword fighting shows and films to choose from, and many will doubtlessly opt for the breathtaking Ninja Scroll (199?), but I’d like to single out the TV series Samurai Champloo for its marvellous swordplay. Look past the hip hop soundtrack and intentional anachronisms and you’ll find some blazing sword combat from two heroes with radically contrasting fighting styles – one a master of form and technique, and the other an undisciplined wild man who gets by on natural ability and improvisation.
· Star Wars (1977) – The first time Obi-Wan and Vader activated their lightsabers, the whole world widened its eyes and held its breath. Sure, this first duel seems a little slow now, but it was perfectly understandable – their weapons were glowing, buzzing columns of focused laser death. You don’t just swing that shit around haphazardly. Deadlier than a chainsaw but lighter than a switchblade, the lightsaber was then, and remains now, a weapon that commands respect.
· Theater of Blood (1973) – What could be more delicious than Vincent Price as a murderous ham actor, killing off theatrical critics? Only one thing, my friends, and that would be the indescribable fencing scene in which Price and his opponent cross swords while bouncing on trampolines!
· Dead Pigeon on Beethoven Street (1972) – There’s an important swordfighting lesson in this little-seen movie from cult director Samuel Fuller. A bozo scrambling around and throwing stools and candlesticks cannot defeat a master swordsman… but a bozo with an eight-foot-long hunting spear can.
· The Court Jester (1955) – Hollywood’s supreme swordsman Basil Rathbone wasn’t only known for his portrayal of Sherlock Holmes – he also specialized in black-hearted villains in fantastic swashbuckling flicks like The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938). Here he menaces Danny Kaye, the Robin Williams of his day. Their climactic sword fight (filmed when Rathbone was 64!) is absolutely amazing. Kaye’s character has been hypnotized into believing that he’s unbeatable in combat, and beats back Rathbone’s evil swordsman with ease. Then Kaye carelessly snaps his fingers, breaking the spell, and Rathbone turns the tables on his suddenly-useless opponent. The battle continues, with Kaye’s fighting style switching from Errol Flynn to Don Knotts and back again, every time a finger snap is heard!
Also recommended: Hero (2002), Kill Bill (2003/2004), Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1974), Rob Roy (1994), Saviour of the Soul (1992), One-Armed Swordsman (1967), Highlander (1986), Sword of Swords (1968) and The Sea Hawk (1940).
En Garde! |
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