| Dear Josey,
I’m a 42-year-old male, with a wonderful girlfriend, but I’m drawn to trannies. I had a minor homosexual experience as a young teenager and I really do find some "chicks with dicks" hot! Am I gay, or bored? Do you have any advice for me or should I just find myself a nice tranny and go for it, without telling my girlfriend?
Dear Trans,
Most people eat or watch TV when they’re bored, they don’t go out and sleep with a transsexual. And yes, that’s the right term. Terms like "chicks with dicks," "trannies" or "shemales" are considered offensive and used mostly by an enormous porn industry catering mostly to straight men who are turned on by the idea of a man who looks like a babe but is hung like a horse. For one, many transsexuals retain their male genitalia because it’s damn expensive to turn an outie into an innie not because they want to fulfill some straight guy’s repressed homosexual fantasies. OK, I’m sucking your dick but you look like a chick so it’s OK, right?
Being attracted to transsexuals doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gay ("minor" homosexual experiences as a teen on the other hand…). Gay men are attracted to men. Male-to-female transsexuals generally identify as female. I’m not really sure what your attraction is about (sexuality is wonderfully complex and trying to explain it is like trying to explain Richard Simmons). I do know that having sex with someone other than your partner – be they transsexual, bisexual or ambidextrous – without her knowing, is cheating. My advice? If you love your girlfriend, don’t cheat on her. If you want to explore your "trannie" fantasies, there are plenty of porn sites willing to cater to you. You just might want to clue your girlfriend in on your little predilection before she stumbles across your Freaky Tranny or Hot Shemale Sluts DVDs.
Dear Josey,
My fiancé and I only have sex once a week and a hand job once in awhile, if I beg. I have asked for blowjobs a few times but it just causes arguing. About six months ago, a female friend offered to blow me for my birthday. I felt guilty but it felt so good. We started meeting occasionally for heavy petting or an oral rendezvous. I know it is totally wrong. I tried avoiding her but I can't seem to resist. Is it the adventure, the pleasure or the intimacy that draws me? What should I do? Am I afraid of commitment?
Enjoying My Guilty Pleasure
Dear Enjoying,
I’d say it’s the blowjobs that draw you. And it ain’t a commitment issue. Your fiancé won’t blow you but your friend will, no strings attached. Not exactly rocket science, honey. It is however, deceitful, cheating behaviour and very unbecoming of someone who is about to make a lifetime commitment to the person they are cheating on.
But you know it’s wrong so you don’t need me to tell you that, right? You’re also right, it’s hard to avoid someone when your dick is in her mouth. So what do you do? Come clean with your fiancé, before you tie the knot. No need to confess your little arrangement, but you do need to have a frank sexual discussion. Be up front about your needs (without begging or arguing). Try and get to the bottom of why she’s not into it, and see if you can’t figure out a way to get her into it. If she can’t or isn’t willing to accommodate (it’s not like you’re asking her to eat poo or something, the occasional blow job isn’t an unreasonable request), you’re going to need to negotiate something. She may need to accept you occasionally having your physical needs fulfilled elsewhere, guilt-free. And if none of that works, you need to seriously consider what you’re doing getting married. I know, a good relationship isn’t all about the sex, but if you’re already arguing about blowjobs before you get married, it’s only going to get worse.
QUICKIES
Catch Pretty Dangerous, Global’s documentary series on "bad girls" and the men they have scammed, bilked and sometimes murdered for money starting Wednesday, February 7 at 10:30 (ET) with the story of Tracy Sargent, a former call girl who used her sexuality to defraud men out of more than a million dollars over 20 years.
Help make Sense out of sex. Head & Hands Sense project is looking for contributors (editorials, short stories, poem, comics, photos or illustrations) for its Sex Ed Zine project. Deadline is March 1. Send submissions to sexedstories@yahoo.ca. For more info go to headandhands.ca. |
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