| Stepping into the new Japanese Village location in the old Cannery Row space on 10th Avenue is like entering the Twilight Zone. It may be in a different location, but once inside the main doors the space appears to be exactly the same. The same red walls, the same cases containing masks and swords, the same menu and… the same jokes. "This is Japanese cooking oil – it comes from my Honda Civic." Insert rim shot here.
It’s not that I hated the old location or the food, in fact I loved it, but I was looking forward to a new and improved Japanese Village. Instead, the experience was like re-uniting with an old flame only to find out that they are exactly the same person. Boring.
If you can recall the menu from a birthday party or a going-away party for a co-worker, then you will recall the tried-and-true line-up of about 15 menu items. Appetizers include the old standbys such as tempura ($4.95) and deep fried oysters ($5.75).
"Cooked before your eyes in the famous Japanese teppan style," the entrees range in price from $17.50 (chicken teriyaki) to $39.95 for the shogun special (steak and lobster).
They come with shabu-shabu soup, salad, green tea, rice, grilled shrimp and ice cream for dessert. I was sad that they didn’t serve green tea ice cream. Strawberry, cookies ’n’ cream and orange sherbet? A full meal deal, for sure. Authentic? Kinda. Thank god my New York steak was good.
My friend and I were first to arrive at our eating pod (10 people to one grill with one chef) where we’d forgotten you can’t order food until the rest of the table is present. She commented that waiting at Japanese Village was kind of like waiting for a dysfunctional family to show up at a wedding reception. As everyone trickled in, the cavalcade of awkward smiles, different styles and a pressing need to drink ensued.
The problem with eating with a group of strangers comes down to one simple thing: etiquette. Three out of 10 people at the table chose to have full conversations on their cell phones regardless of how it made their dates feel. A single dad, there with his two children and their grandmother, ogled the women at the table and every time a new dish arrived, everyone devoured it as if it was their last meal. One can only assume this behaviour reflected a general social discomfort that caused most people to cower in their incredibly bad soup.
What made the experience worse was a rendition of "Happy Birthday" sung to a 12-year-old girl that went "Happy Birthday dear customer" – no Jennifer or Melissa or Jessica, just "customer." It really must have made her feel special. In addition to being called "customer," she got to don an "authentic" Japanese kimono and rubber wig and dance with her nine-year-old brother. She seemed happy. I felt like I was at Chuck E. Japanese.
Remember Japanese Village’s old jingle? "We want to see you, you’ll have a good time... Japanese Village, Ah-So!" Well, in the end I felt like they moderately wanted to see me and I only had an all right time. I never really knew what the "Ah-So!" part meant, but I always thought they were saying awesome. Unless you go with a fun group of friends, it’s not so awesome.
Japanese Village is located at 317-10th Avenue S.W.; phone, 262-2738. |
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