| A renegade astronaut, afflicted with superintelligence (Jack Black), accompanied only by his talking motorcycle (voiced by Owen Wilson), goes on the run from evil scientist/assassin/movie star Ron Silver (playing himself, sort of). Along the way, they encounter possessed fry cooks, a buxom sheriff, strippers and a megalomaniacal energy being from beyond the stars. That’s Heat Vision and Jack (1999).
Meanwhile, in Great Britain, the inhabitants of Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace (2004) are dealing with alien babies, evil broccoli and an inconvenient gateway to hell, all while running a modern 1980s hospital. Somehow they manage to do it without mussing up their feathered hair or losing their stylish aviator sunglasses.
These two shows satirize the sort of goofy television we all grew up watching, and do so with a completely straight face. Heat Vision and Jack parodies such well-known shows as Knight Rider, The Six Million Dollar Man and MacGyver, and we laugh at the silliness of the production while simultaneously enjoying it as good old-fashioned junk TV. The subjects of Darkplace’s ridicule are a bit harder to identify, at least to non-British eyes, but the six-episode cult comedy does a great job of recreating the sort of melodramatic shot-on-video nonsense that proliferated during the ’80s. I had a good belly laugh at the intentional cheesiness of Darkplace’s first episode, but it left me wondering – was ’80s television ever really this ridiculous?
One of the first shows ever to air on the Fox network was the horror-themed 1980s show Werewolf (1987). The show bore a striking thematic resemblance to the Bill Bixby/Lou Ferrigno series The Incredible Hulk (1978), or perhaps, given the canine nature of the protagonist, The Littlest Hobo (1979). Werewolf chronicled the wanderings of a hapless schlub who’s been cursed to spend the nights of the full moon as a werewolf. He transformed into a hairy feral beast at least once an episode, but fortunately he made it through all 29 shows without hurting any nice people – he only ate villains who had it coming. I also recall a guest appearance on The Tracey Ullman Show (1987) in which Tracey complains about having to share a dressing room with the monster, and reprimands the slavering beast for using her hairbrush, which is now choked with fur.
Speaking of people transforming into animals, a few of you must remember a show called Manimal (1983), in which a smarmy blonde British guy (Simon MacCorkindale) could turn into all manner of beasts and birdies in order to fight crime. As a result, a whole whack of evildoers saw their criminal plans foiled by unexpected interference from a hawk or a panther. He also transformed into a kitten in order to bury his face in a woman’s cleavage in the first episode. The show was a subject of ridicule from the get-go, and was cancelled after only eight episodes.
Even weirder was Automan (1983), a bizarre attempt to make a superhero show inspired by the movie Tron (1982). Walter Nebicher, a nerdy computer programmer/cop, (played by Desi Arnaz Jr.) creates a crime-fighting holographic superhero named Automan (Chuck Wagner), whose entire body glows like neon from the neck down. Automan is accompanied by "Cursor," a floating special effect that can instantly construct useful items and vehicles, such as a glowing Lamborghini. This day-glo sports car was the real star of the show, and made for an impressively peculiar sight as it zoomed silently through the city streets, turning at 90-degree angles, just like the lightcycles from Tron. A recurring joke was that whenever the car took a corner, any human passengers were uncomfortably thrown against the side windows. The car never needed to be parked, as Cursor could instantly "unmake" it once Automan and Nebicher reached their destination. Then Cursor would tag along with the heroes, in case they needed another instant car or helicopter. Was Automan the stupidest show of the ’80s, or the coolest show ever? You decide! |
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