| The weather outside was frightful, but the aphrodisiacs were warmly delightful. It was -26 the day my lova and I decided to shake up our love nest with foods purported to make libidos do somersaults.
First things first: if you want to jumpstart your sexual self then you need to go with fresh foods. Starches, sugar and salt-ridden foods are said to make you feel sluggish, and that feeling of a heavy belly just makes you want to nap. Skip the pizza and the pasta if you are planning to head straight to the boudoir after dining.
Practically everything I’ve read on eating for the libido recommends a wide selection of fresh fruit and vegetables, legumes, shellfish and of course, chocolate. So I prepared a menu based on the top tips I received. Here are some of the most reputable aphrodisiacs:
· Oysters – The essential in libido-boosting food. Oysters take top place due to their being rich in protein, "resemblance to female genitalia," and a high concentration of zinc and iodine. Zinc is an essential key to testosterone production in both women and men and is said to be an exceptional sexual nutrient.
For our rendezvous we picked up a dozen Malpeque (PEI) oysters at Billingsgate Fish Company on special for $10.99. We hand-shucked them with a screwdriver and a steady hand (careful you don’t cut yourself, these suckers are sharp). We covered our hands with a towel to avoid bloodshed.
The Malpeque’s were fantastic, served with only fresh lemon and a touch of sea salt. They were juicy and exotic. We were in ecstasy just eating them.
· Avocados – Another high ranking love contender. Aztec culture revered the avocado tree as ahuacuatl, which translated means "testicle tree" (the avocados dangle in pairs from the tree). The avocado has an extremely sensuous texture and is rich in vitamins and minerals, making it a must for sexual gusto.
I purchased two organic avocados for $2.58, sliced them up and served them with a homemade Salvadoran salsa (tomatoes are considered to be love apples – they contain lycopene, which also gets the love juice flowing) and gourmet tortilla chips.
· Asparagus – These rascally phallic representations are said to stimulate our eyes as much as they invigorate our libidos. I picked up a bunch for $3.88, sautéed them and served them lightly tossed in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. They were phallically delicious!
· Chocolate – Chocolate contains an amino acid called phenylalanine that elevates the body's endorphins. Chocolate is said to be "nature’s anti-depressant," so it’s not surprising that it elevates our sex drive as well.
With chocolate, the menu choice was clear. I needed to incorporate nuts of some sort into the menu (nuts too are sexual stimulants) as well as fresh fruit. Naturally, it was fondue time! Melting down Callebaut chocolate and adding chopped almonds set the stage for some erotic fruits to join the party. But what fruits to pick?
Bananas were chosen for their potassium and obvious phallic characteristics, as well as raspberries for their nipple-like appearance and vitamin C. I also included pineapple, said to be a homeopathic treatment for impotence and lastly figs, which are also said to resemble the vagina.
As he and I sat down to eat in front of the fireplace with a bottle of Mumm’s Joyesse champagne (recommended for oysters and lovemaking) and the feast spread out before us, it seemed inevitable that we would end up romping the night away. All the shucking beforehand and talk of the meaning behind the food had gotten us hot.
As we feasted and merrily drank our champagne, it became apparent that the food was indeed beginning to have its desired effect on us. So we took the fondue to the bedroom.
As it turns out, chocolate on flesh is goddamn sexy… and tasty! What a dessert! Not only was it healthy, it was sensuous and sumptuous and one of the best I’ve ever had. I remembered thinking part way through it that it was too bad that all my food reviews couldn’t end this way.
Anyone can heat up their lover’s holiday this year by surprising them with a night of erotic delights on a cold winter’s night. Take my advice and you will be back for seconds. |
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