| Ever have one of those "wow" moments while on your way to work?
Mike, one of the city's growing number of bike commuters, experienced three in one day while in the Edgemont Ravine on his way to earn his pay just before the weather turned nasty.
Travelling downhill at speeds slightly higher than the posted pathway maximum, Mike rounded a semi-blind corner at dusk travelling into a covey of about 60 grouse hanging out on the pavement. Not the sharpest of knives, the birds flew straight upward, a couple careening off Mike's helmet almost knocking him off his bike.
While struggling to maintain control, Mike then dodged a coyote that ran in front of him, either scared by the commotion or seeing lifeless prey rebounding off the biker’s brain bucket. Seconds later, Mike's bike light illuminated the outline of two deer, also standing in the middle of the pathway.
Caught in his light, they remained motionless until Mike's screams or proximity finally urged them into the bush about five metres before impact. Having happened upon another cyclist who ran into a deer on his commute to work a few years ago, I can say Mike and his bike were in serious jeopardy.
Mike escaped with a great story, and the only repair required the removal of a few bird feathers from his helmet.
NOT EVERYONE’S A BISON HUMPER
One would think someone who introduces himself as "Dickie Reid, living proof people fuck buffaloes" would have interesting stories to tell. Not so.
Fortunately, most of the folks at this year’s Grey Cup in Winnipeg had much more coherent thoughts and engaging tales than the old bison humper.
While Dickie may have claim to the best introduction during Canada’s national drunk, perhaps the best line of the five-day party goes to a B.C. fan.
Walking down the aisle of one of the dozens of planes full of Cupheads (people who regularly attend Grey Cup games), the B.C. fan picked up on the party atmosphere of the plane, calmly placed his hand on the shoulder of another football fan, this one dressed in Roughrider green, and says: "Hey Saskatchewan, good luck in the Brier."
That’s good stuff. It’s hard to combine this country’s top two drinking excuses into one joke.
Whether at the Brent Butt end of the joke or not, Saskatchewan fans are always pleasant, such as the three-couple crew seated together at Sunday’s game (that was unfortunately as bad as Nelly Fur-Taco’s half-time show).
Wanting to spread a little spirit amongst the crowd, the good folks dished out some Corner Gas-like humour, offering anyone nearby a shot of butter ripple schnapps they described as "some syrup we got at Smitty’s this morning."
And that wasn’t the only drinking offence of the weekend. Every flight between here and Winnipeg ran out of beer. For at least the second year running, the host province couldn’t keep up with demand for Pilsner at Saskatchewan’s Riderville Grey Cup party room, this year running out by Friday.
Stampeder fans were scattered throughout the parties and, almost to a person, want quarterback Henry Burris traded.
Speaking of being in the wrong place, the guys attempting to start a CFL franchise in Yellowknife, called the Polar Bears, apparently never made it to the party room hosted by the for-sure-next CFL team, the Halifax Schooners. Just thought it was a natural for the Polar Bears to hang around the only Grey Cup venue serving seafood. |
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