| I’m a Christmas music junkie and I make no apologies for it. Once December rolls around, I haul out the box of yuletide vinyl and CDs and get into the holiday spirit early. Usually I’m excited to hear the new batch of Christmas music. There is always an assortment of old gems, new treasures, schmaltz and surprises. However, 2006 could be the weakest year on record for new Christmas music.
I can handle good music, I can mock bad music, but what I can’t stand is being confronted by a sea of music that I’m indifferent to. Sadly, that is what most of the new holiday albums offer. Hopefully you can use this guide to find the few diamonds in the rough and dodge several lumps of coal. You can call me a Grinch if you like, but I’m just trying to save you from Christmas depression.
THE TREE TOPPER
Aimee Mann, One More Drifter in the Snow (SuperEgo Records) – Mann can take any song and make it sound sad, so if you want a blue Christmas, she’s got you covered. Her smoky croon does justice to this collection of covers and originals. It’s not laden with schlocky Christmas production, but it is by far the best sounding holiday record this year.
SPIKING THE EGGNOG
Twisted Sister, A Twisted Christmas (Razor & Tie) – It’s exactly what you would expect. Take the drumbeat from "We’re Not Going to Take It" and sing "O Come All Ye Faithful." Loaded with arena rock yelps and a Santa’s sack full of hot licks, Twisted Sister want you to have a rockin’ little Christmas. Ironic or not, it’s actually pretty good.
YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS
Daryl Hall and John Oates, Home for Christmas (U-Watch Records) – First of all, nobody needs these ’80s chuckleheads to get back together. Second, there is nothing worse than limp adult-oriented rock Christmas carols. Holiday music is never known to be edgy, but these two are so boring they make you glad Christmas only comes once a year.
NO POINTS FOR SECOND PLACE
Ron Korb & Donald Quan, Seasons: Christmas Carols (Humble Dragon) – Vince Guaraldi already recorded the Charlie Brown Christmas. There is no need for you to try to do it, too.
CAJUN CHRISTMAS
Various Artists, Putumayo Presents; New Orleans Christmas (Putumayo) – The Big Easy might not be known for having a white Christmas, and by the way this collection turns up the heat, you can hear why. The combination of Dixieland jazz, jump blues and hot soul (not to mention an energy that is lacking on almost every holiday record that came out this year) is perfect music for your next Christmas party.
CHRISTMAS COCKTAIL
Emile-Claire Barlow, Winter Wonderland (Empress Music) – In any other year Barlow’s piano bar jazz wouldn’t be worth a second listen, but in a year bereft of worthwhile releases, her sketchy scatting actually rates pretty high. Plus, her cover of "Santa Baby" is pretty cute.
A DOWN HOME CHRISTMAS
Rhonda Vincent, Beautiful Star: A Christmas Collection (Rounder) – Armed with mandolin, banjo and fiddle, Vincent drops a dozen decidedly twangy carols. Recommended if you like Christmas with Kenny and Dolly or Christmas Caravan by the Squirrel Nut Zippers.
WHAT I REALLY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
Sufjan Stevens, Songs For Christmas (Asthmatic Kitty) – This six-disc box set gives you a chance to explore the mountain of Christmas music Stevens has been making since 2001. From his first EP to a handful of new songs from 2006 and everything in between, it would appear that Stevens has been a very good boy this year. |
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