| Dear Josey,
I am a gay man who has a thing for big, long-haired barbarian males. I've surfed bear and muscle sites, haven’t found exactly what I'm looking for. I know this sounds pretty "niche" as a turn-on, and maybe there aren’t websites or organizations that cater specifically to it. So if you know of any good-looking Viking-types, please send them my way.
Dear Mane,
Niche? Kokigami – the art of wrapping the penis in a paper costume – now that’s niche, but being into big, long-haired barbarian gay men, hell that’s practically mainstream these days. Perhaps in reaction to the tyranny of the hairless, cut, model-good-looks esthetic of gay male culture of the last decade, The Bear Handbook describes this ever-growing phenomenon as a quasi-intellectualized, entirely merchandized subculture of "those who are husky, hairy and homosexual."
As for finding what you’re looking for, I’m afraid I’m fresh out of Viking-types to send your way, but while you don’t specify exactly what you’re looking for, I find it hard to believe you can’t find something to tickle your hairy, husky fancy among the umpteen sites like Furry Fellas, Nude Gay Bears, Abundantly Hairy Bears, Country Bears Go City, or Bad Ass Gay Bear Fuckers. Keep looking my friend.
Dear Josey,
I really enjoy masturbating on women's clothes. Is there a name for this fetish? I can’t find anything on the Internet. Every time I look up "fetish," it talks about rubber clothes or bondage, but nothing comes close to my particular fetish. I prefer masturbating on regular clothes – nice skirts or dresses in velvet or tweed. Any insight would be appreciated.
Dear Material,
While it’s true that tweed suits aren’t generally the most common object of masturbatory affection for men, wanting to masturbate on women’s clothes is right up there with "husky, hairy, homosexual men" on the list of common fetishes. Generally, the desire to come on women’s clothing is linked to the smell and/or texture of the garment often combined with the fantasy of the woman wearing it, making silk or satin panties more popular than, say, a tweed jacket. Fabrics that create a second skin, like leather and PVC are also common fetish materials and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (the guy who gave us the term Masochism) documented his fur fetish in his semi-autobiographical novel Venus in Furs. But it doesn’t really matter why or what type of clothing turns you on. Heck, there are even sock fetishists out there. What gets a person off is very individual. There may not be a name for it and you may not find any niceskirtsandvelvetdresses.com websites, but just be thankful your turn-on isn’t coming on haute couture. Regular women’s clothes are much easier and cheaper to acquire.
Dear Josey,
I’ve never been able to swallow and my husband wants this more than anything. I’m OK at the beginning but when I start to think about it, I start to gag. I can’t go very deep (I gag brushing my teeth) and I’ve vomited on him a few times while trying. He seems to take it in stride but I feel like a failure. What can I do?
Dear Hard,
I can see how vomiting all over your husband would really take the excitement out of the moment. It’s very sweet of you to be so determined to do this for your guy, but while it certainly won’t land you a future as a porn starlet, not being able to deep-throat or swallow your husband’s come hardly makes you a failure. That said, there are some things you can try. Some people use Chloraseptic throat spray or children's teething gel to numb the back of their throat and allow for easier deep throating and swallowing. But it sounds like you also need to get over your psychological fear of gagging given just thinking about it makes you gag.
Part physical, part psychological The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio by Violet Blue says the gag reflex can, for the most part, be overcome. It still may happen but you can find ways to get past it. When you feel the gag reflex coming on, they suggest you stop, take a few deep breaths, swallow (not his jizz, just swallow) until the feeling subsides. Use your hand along with your mouth so you control how deep you go. Use lube so when your mouth needs a break, you continue stroking with your hand to keep the sensation going. You can find more tips – like practicing with a dildo or come-like foodstuffs – at dontspitswallow.com.
But remember, a good blowjob isn’t just about going deep and swallowing. Licking, kissing, using your hands and sliding his penis along your face, chest or other body parts and letting him come on you can be fun for everyone too! |
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