| I tend to enjoy a fairly broad range of cinema, but insane Turkish action films from the ’70s are particular favourites that never fail to make me vibrate with glee. When I heard that Mondo Macabro was putting out a double feature DVD of the never-before-released classics The Deathless Devil (1972) and Tarkan Versus the Vikings (1971), I just about wet my pants with excitement. Folks, if you’ve never experienced the blissful insanity of Lion Man (1975) or Turkish Star Wars (a.k.a. The Man Who Saves the World) (1982), here’s your chance to see what all the fuss is about.
The Deathless Devil is a Turkish remake of the 1940 Republic serial Mysterious Doctor Satan (a.k.a. Dr. Satan’s Robot), a particularly lively cliffhanger series in which masked superhero "The Copperhead" tries to foil the villainous Dr. Satan and his comically unconvincing robot. Turkish filmmakers took a great deal of inspiration from the frantic pacing and outlandish super villains of the old cliffhangers, so this particular story fits the Turkish cinematic style like a glove.
The main characters get to keep their names from the original chapterplay, but this time they’re joined by a pointless comic relief sidekick and a treacherous female spy who has a brief topless sex scene with our hero! The killer robot is so laughable that it makes the original "enraged water heater" from Mysterious Doctor Satan (actually stolen from the earlier serial Undersea Kingdom, 1936) look convincing. Whenever this clanking pile of light bulbs and stove pipes menaces the good guys, you won’t be able to stop laughing. Meanwhile, Dr. Satan twirls his impressive moustache and cackles diabolically, while The Copperhead cartwheels to the rescue. Wheee!
While The Deathless Devil is certainly fun, you’ll forget all about it once you see this disc’s second feature, Tarkan Versus the Vikings. This one’s got everything – snake pits, castle sieges, female nudity, hilarious wigs, heroic German Shepherds, killer hawks, giants, slave mutinies, orgies, an army of sexy Viking women in hotpants, and what might be my favourite rubber octopus of all time. (Sorry, Bride of the Monster. And Warlords of Atlantis, Popeye, 20,000 Leagues under the Sea, Octaman).
Mighty warrior Tarkan (a Conan-like character appearing in numerous Turkish films and comic books) is sworn to protect the Khan’s daughter Yonca, but gets knocked unconscious in a Viking raid in which his faithful pet wolf Kurt is killed. After he is nursed back to health by Kurt Jr., Tarkan swears to avenge his dead pooch. Oh yeah, and to rescue the girl, if there’s time. Standing in Tarkan’s way are scores of vicious Vikings, a nymphomaniac Chinese princess named Lotus, a good-hearted giant named Orso, and the aforementioned octopus. Fortunately, his allies include a shipload of mutineers, a sexy blonde princess named Ursula, an entire army of Viking women and good old Kurt Jr.
Both of the "wolves" are played by friendly-looking German Shepherds, who wag and pant adorably throughout the film even when they’re supposed to be acting vicious or determined or heartbroken. In one scene, Kurt Jr.’s face is dabbed with fake glycerin tears, as he wags his tail happily over the grave of his father. In another, the heroic pooch scales a wall after several futile attempts (an effect achieved by turning the camera on its side, a la the old Batman TV show) before emerging triumphant from the pit, his paws speckled with phoney stage blood.
The first things you notice about Tarkan Versus the Vikings are the costumes. Tarkan himself wears a simple, nondescript, furry, brown cylinder, much like the one worn by Barney Rubble. The female characters wear very little. (Rowrr!) As for the Vikings themselves, well, they wear an astonishing assortment of brightly-colored furs. Blue, green, pink, yellow – you’ve never seen so much neon and pastel-colored funfur in your life. They look like the My Little Pony of Viking hordes. My guess is that the costume department bought up all the faux fur they could find, stuck it in place with staples and costume jewelry, and called it a day. What’s even better is that the Vikings stick this rainbow of fur on every prop in sight – shields, spears, war drums, banners – you name it, they’ll make it colorful and fuzzy. It’s the cuddliest marauding army you’ve ever seen in your life. Believe me, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen a battering ram operated by a horde of bloodthirsty Muppets.
The disc also includes a short but fantastic documentary about Turkish pop cinema. In it, Turkish superstar Cuneyt Arkin tells us about a stunt he did that went horribly wrong. He was supposed to ride a horse through a plate glass window, but the nag slipped on the marble floor and threw Arkin through the glass. When he came to, he saw that his hand had been severed! He picked up the hand, put it on ice, and rode the horse to the hospital, where the hand was successfully reattached. Yikes!
I absolutely love this stuff. More Turkish movies, please! |
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