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THE PROTECTOR
STARRING Tony Jaa, some trash-talking thugs and two (count ’em two) elephants
DIRECTED BY Prachya Pinkaew
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According to Thai legend, there is nothing more powerful than the king’s elephant. According to The Protector, there is nothing more powerful than Tony Jaa. (Jaa is the Muai Thai motherfucker who wowed North American audiences with his lightning speed and bone-crushing finishing moves in 2004’s Ong Bak.) When the former goes missing, it’s up to the latter to beat down the thugs, reclaim his honour, avenge his father’s death, break up a crime ring and find his elephants.
If you think all this sounds more ludicrous than your typical martial arts adventure, you’re right. Not that I mind ludicrousness in films like this. The more outlandish the fight scene the better, I say. The problem with The Protector is that the plot is so poorly tied together it becomes laughable. Essentially, it’s Get Carter with an elephant. A cheap excuse for a parade of outlandish hand-to-hand combat sequences, the film is nothing more than Muai Thai porn. Audiences have to suffer through the stilted dialogue and piss-poor acting to get to the money shot that, in this case, is only worth it half the time.
Ong Bak was a silly, but ultimately exhilarating adventure where Jaa’s single-minded ferocity was a perfect fit for the revenge plot. The Protector has considerably less finesse. The editing is choppy and disorienting, the pacing is highly suspect and even though the film boasts some of the more impressive fight scenes on film (including an almost record-breaking four-minute single-take brawl), the lighting and camera work is so shoddy it’s difficult to watch.
By the time Jaa gets to his final showdown he has run out of tricks. Even spicing up the Muai Thai with behemoth foes, bull whips and elephant bones can’t make up for the fact that The Protector blew its load early. If ever there was a movie made for DVD, this is it. Skip to the fight scenes and forget the rest. |
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