>>REVIEW
SNAKES ON A PLANE
STARRING: Samuel L. Jackson and Julianna Margulies
DIRECTED BY: David R. Ellis
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So let's see, we have a plane, some terrorists, a witness to a mob hit, Samuel L. Jackson and a bunch of motherf&#@ snakes on a motherf&#@ plane.
With a concept like this, who needs a script?
After months of seemingly endless Internet hype, I can tell you with assurance that yes, Snakes on a Plane is that bad. Or… should I say, that good? Sure, it's cheese. But we're talking grade-A cheese, baby.
Jackson plays Neville Flynn, an FBI agent escorting surfer-dude and murder witness Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips) on a red-eye flight from Honolulu to Los Angeles so he can testify against crime boss Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson). Doing their part to make sure Jones doesn't get there in one piece, Kim's henchmen load the cargo bay of the plane with a colourful assortment of poisonous snakes that are conveniently unleashed midway through the trip when the plane is over the Pacific.
Oh, I almost forgot… there are also pheromones strategically placed throughout the aircraft, making the snakes more vicious than ever. "Great, snakes on crack," sneers the uber cool Jackson. What transpires is exactly the kind of wild ride you'd expect from a movie bound to be a cult classic for generations – slimy, fang-bearing snakes (some poorly created with computer animation, others are simply pathetic rubber props) taking a chomp out of every stereotypical passenger in sight. The rapper, the spoiled rich girl, the nervous flyer, the horny Mile High Club-bound couple, the pretentious jackass – they all come face-to-face with hopped-up snakes, as the little buggers slither out of all sorts of fun places (air passages, barf bags, toilets). In fact, one especially gruesome attack will give new life to any joke involving "trouser snake" for quite some time.
Snakes on a Plane is consistently enjoyable because director David R. Ellis (Cellular), along with his headliners Jackson and Julianna Margulies (who plays the trademark calm and collected flight attendant), keep the camp coming. This is an insipid project and it knows it. Rather than bury the film with false suspense, why not celebrate its outrageousness? And nothing says fun like watching Shaft and the nurse from ER electrocute, roast or slap the crap out of a bunch of snakes. |
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