>>PREVIEW
9TH ANNUAL SLURPEE CUP
Saturday, August 9
University of Calgary (Tennis Courts)
The coming of August means only one thing in the sporting world. No, not NFL pre-season, not the MLB pennant race, not even the chase for the Nextel Cup – August means it is time for the Slurpee Cup.
On August 19 the University of Calgary will play host to the 9th annual Slurpee Cup charity ball hockey tournament, which will feature 24 teams culled from the finest that Calgary’s media, music, entertainment and industry has to offer.
With both the coveted cup and bragging rights on the line the stakes are high and the teams are geared up and ready for action. Here is a look behind the masks of four of the most fierce (or at least most punctual) competitors.
SOULS IN RHYTHM
Combined weight – Greater than ELO, but less than Earth, Wind & Fire.
Combined height – So far we’ve only been able to stack ourselves five tall. What Christian Slater film best exemplifies your playing style? – We prefer Bill Paxton’s movies — that guy is an American hero. If we have to pick a Slater film, it would definitely be Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered.
Why should other teams fear you? – They shouldn’t fear us. They should fear their own incompetence.
What is your pre-game ritual? – Starts with checking our hair, adjusting our protective cups, consuming/injecting banned substances.
Who is your team’s inspiration? – Keith Tkachuk — that guy’s cholesterol is through the roof… and he’s in the NHL. I think he even smokes between periods. What team do you hope to meet in the final and why? – Well obviously we’d like to meet Prince in the final - he’s funky, and we could kick his purple ass, but I don’t think he’s playing… is he?
THE SUPER 8s! (We’re the film team.)
Combined weight – There are lots of girls on this team. We do not discuss such things.
Combined height – Several dozen menacing yet amicable and sportsmanlike feet tall.
What Christian Slater film best exemplifies your playing style? – The True Romance of our Untamed Hearts makes you think you’re in for a Bed of Roses, but once you feel the Broken Arrow in your back, you’ll understand that we’re Mobsters who know how to Pump Up The Volume, and it’s gonna be Murder In The First. And we’re still only Young Guns, II!
Why should other teams fear you? – Please see above question. Also most of us have really good spelling. Plus there’s a guy on our team whose first name is really and truly Cowboy. We rule!
What is your pre-game ritual? – Getting lost in the maze of parking lots at the U of C, followed by hitting on everything that moves at the Oval and arriving only slightly late. That’s how we roll.
Who is your team’s inspiration? – Pete "Gump" Harris, our fearless leader. And Hunter S. Thompson. And, like every team probably says, Brigitte Bardot. And, you know, unicorns.
What team do you hope to meet in the final and why? – Meeting the NUTV team is always fun and metaphorically dramatic: woo, film vs. video!
SLOTH RECORDS
Combined weight – Well over 2,000 pounds, we are old and fat.
Combined height – 75 feet
What Christian Slater film best exemplifies your playing style? – Gleaming The Cube, dude.
Why should other teams fear you? – Two words – Dave. Muir.
What is your pre-game ritual? – I’m afraid for legal reasons I cannot divulge that.
Who is your team’s inspiration? – Bobby Clarke
What team do you hope to meet in the final and why? – Core-upt Records, because they went from being our warm-up buddies in previous years to bitter rival after they whipped our ass last year in the semi-finals.
THE COLOUR BARS (NUTV)
Combined weight – 24,000 ounces of pure talent
Combined height – 19 metres
What Christian Slater film best exemplifies your playing style? – Young Guns II
Why should other teams fear you? – In the words of George W. Bush: "Just remember it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter."
What is your pre-game ritual? – So far it’s been trying to find the best spot to plant our asses during the game and hoping everyone actually shows up.
Who is your team’s inspiration? – Bob
What team do you hope to meet in the final and why? – The Super 8s – just because. |
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