| I’m on holiday this week so I’m taking a cue from the editors of Nerve.com. and their new book Sex Advice From…. In it, they offer sex advice from DJs (Best way to pick up a DJ? Offer to carry their record bags home), sorority girls (Best advice a "big sister" could offer a "little sister?" Don’t date fraternity brothers!), cowboys (Why do women like country guys? ’Cause city guys is pansies, mostly), pool cleaners (Is it true what adult videos suggest about pool cleaners — that it’s the coolest job in the world? I’d rate it number five for automatically getting laid for what you do for a living), hairstylists (N: Should people get fancy with their pubic hair? Hairstylist: When it gets to the point where it actually becomes a hairdo, it’s a turnoff!), and more. So this week, I offer you advice from friends, colleagues and some regular MMB readers.
The biggest mistake that people make with sex (as with films) is that they neglect the prep and post and focus solely on production. Great sex (like a great movie) is totally entertaining, as well as emotionally moving and intellectually stimulating.
Rediscover the lost art of the hand job. Nobody does them after high school but they're a busy woman's best friend! Check out Tickle His Pickle by Sadie Allison for tips.
Chanelle,
sex educator and manager of Toronto-based sex shop Good For Her (goodforher.com)
Before taking on a new lover – or any lover – a pedicure is essential. It sets the tone. It’s good hygiene and proper grooming. It’s a private ritual of self-love and appreciation that contributes to one's self esteem — a good thing whether you are upside down or right side up.
Miss Bad Betty,
self-proclaimed provocatrice and creator of kick-ass cheeky sexy lingerie (missbadbetty.com)
When trying out new fantasies, don't try to do too many things. Introduce a fun new thing between your favourites. I've coined the term "The Sandwich Method" for this.
Mistress Diva Midori, sex educator and Japanese rope bondage specialist
Remember that you see your flaws more than anybody else. Embrace and focus on what is going on between you and your partner, not what your tummy looks like. And quiet the voices in your head. It's not the time to be thinking of the grocery list.
Debra Goldblatt, publicist
Get a lock for your bedroom door. Go to bed before you are tired. Always remember that sex burns more calories than folding laundry. And husbands, if you’re trying to get the wife to have sex, nothing is sexier to her than a house cleaned by someone else, a dinner she didn’t have to cook and a promise you’ll get up first in the morning with the kids.
Kathy Buckworth, writer/public speaker and mother of four kids
Eye contact makes the difference between having great sex and just feeling fucked. Asking: "What do you want/like?" really kills it for me. Checking in is fine: "Is this ok?" "Can we try such-and-such," but vague, open-ended questions involve way too much thought at a time when I’m hopefully not feeling too analytical.
Before you give him a blowjob, don't assume that all guys like it the same way. Ask him what he likes and you’ll be surprised to find there are many ways to give a blowjob.
Prepare. Douche your ass before a bum fuck. Pre-roll those joints, pour those drinks into tall glasses, pre-program the music, unplug the phone, wind up the porn juke box and you're set for hours of hedonistic pleasures with everything at your finger tips and no need to stop the shaggin'!
Shaun Proulx, writer and publisher (gayguidetoronto.com)
Don’t use foodstuffs for lubricant – I haven't been able to eat Country Crock margarine since the great anal sex binge of 1987.
When involved in a threesome with two women, eat a raw clove of garlic shortly beforehand. It ruins your breath, but that's not the end they're interested in. It’ll make your erection last longer.
Got kids? Answer their questions! They'll stop pursuing a line of questioning when they're not ready for the answers. You do more damage deflecting, ignoring or misinforming them.
Robthewebguy, financial planner
I hate tips that make general assumptions, like: don't ever use your teeth during fellatio. Personally, I find teeth play (when done properly, obviously) can be quite fun.
What we learn from previous lovers doesn't necessarily apply to your current one. Neither does what "men" or "women" like, or are supposed to like, according to books, films or even our own experience.That’s why it’s simply called advice Mystic. Nothing’s written in stone but we can all learn from others’ experiences. Thanks everyone.
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