| For many, summer means street food. In Calgary, that means "street meat."
It’s a term that, for some, provokes an appetite, while for others it simply conjures dim memories of a drunken night outside a cowboy bar and a bad case of indigestion. I recently hit the street meat circuit to find out what’s available in nighttime sidewalk cuisine.
Before you begin your own search for street food in Calgary, be forewarned that this means one thing: hotdogs and sausages. In other cities in the world, street food can range from pretzels to fresh soup, but because of a combination of city bylaws and delicate sensibilities, Calgarians are restricted to tubes of meat in various forms.
To start this unscientific study, I headed to a booth parked outside Cowboys (826-5th Street S.W.), where I met Scott (who for undisclosed reasons refused to provide his last name). Located in the parking lot of this emporium of urban cowboy culture for more than six years, Scott has developed a combination bouncer-waiter personality – an understandable evolution for this former telemarketer, who kept repeating in a sarcastic tone, "I love my job."
A typical customer at this location is much like the inebriated 30-ish woman who ordered the jumbo dog for $3.75 "with everything" and then berated Scott after he prepared it. "I only wanted sauerkraut," she yelled as she slunkk away while munching on her midnight snack.
I tried the "brat" (bratwurst), which for $4.50 was neither tasty nor bad tasting. Instead, it filled a void, which for the moment was enough.
What I quickly realized is that in Calgary, street food is not about great cuisine, but getting some protein into drunken customers outside bars. Scott is a subcontractor of Smokin’ Joes, which operates more than half-a-dozen of these hotdog booths on wheels outside drinking establishments including Coyotes, Tantra and The French Maid.
Rather than approaching a meal on Calgary’s streets as a culinary experience, one should view it as experimental theatre. However, the secret to truly enjoying the spectacle is to remain relatively sober while the "performers" are left to act.
Next on the hit list is Kringles, located just outside The Roadhouse (840-9th Avenue S.W.). This booth is owned and operated by Tom Powell, one of the few true independents. A cross between Santa Claus and a member of ZZ Top, Powell has been serving up hotdogs on Calgary’s streets since the dying days of Electric Avenue. His motto is: "Where street meat vendors do it with heat."
"I’ve been doing this since 1990," says Powell. "Business is cooking."
This was a much quieter location than Cowboys on the night I visited, but the food was a notch better and, as a bonus, Powell is happy to talk to customers about the blues and preserving Calgary’s heritage buildings.
Where Smokin’ Joes is the quick fix, Kringles strives for more by offering not only the standard hotdog and bratwurst, but also a Spolumbo’s Spicy Italian for $5.25 and an Yves Veggie Dog for $4.25.
I opted for the Kringles jumbo dog for $4.25, which maintained a subtle flavour that was complemented by Dijon mustard. Powell offers a full range of condiments, including "Real Simulated Bacon Bits (100% not meat)."
Powell, who claims to be the longest serving hotdog vendor in Calgary, says, "We’re the best on the block because we’re the only one on the block."
With my stomach already full, I decided to abandon my plans to sample the food of five street meat vendors and instead restricted my explorations to Smokin’ Joes, Kringles and El Toro.
Owned by Zalos Zavala, El Toro has been parked near the SOHO Bar and Grill (801-6th Street S.W.) for three years. Originally from Mexico, Zavala has the standard fare of hotdogs and smokies for $4.50. Again trying to bring some class to a business that’s fuelled by drunks, Zavala has fresh cheddar cheese and sautéed onions as toppings.
I ordered a hotdog and was happily discussing the street food business with Zavala when a customer, who by all drunken appearances had presumably just exited one of the nearby bars, slapped me on the back. I invited him to have my hotdog stuffed into a location that was unlikely to offer him any nutritional value, but he refused and crawled back into the night.
This brings me to another point about street food: when ordering, be aware that many (most?) of the people in the vicinity of these booths are revved up through a combination of techno-beat or cowboy music and the thrill of cheap alcohol – keep one or both eyes on the sidewalk. Remember, those walking by street meat vendors after 1 a.m. can be an aggressive lot.
For the record, I consumed one-and-a-half hotdogs and one bratwurst. The best street meat I discovered was at Kringles. The most entertaining location is Scott’s Smokin’ Joes booth outside Cowboys, and the "time to call it a night spot," El Toro near SoHo.
Results: one lingering case of indigestion, one sore shoulder and a vow to forever swear off eating street meat. |
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