| While some Calgarians embrace the 10 booze-fuelled days of Stampede with hearty yahoos and painted-on Wranglers, a good chunk find the constant yipping and kiyaying gets tiresome. But don’t despair – from the St. Louis Hotel to the downtown Legion, there’s no shortage of unique events to make you slap on your chaps and holler, "Giddyup."
MOUSTACHE BASH
For the last nine years, Pat Grier has made a mockery of facial hair with his annual Moustache Bash, an event that has grown from modest beginnings at his home to full-scale pub crawl, complete with clippers. For several weeks prior to the first Saturday of Stampede, he and his mates grow as much facial hair as possible, then shave off any traces of beards and leave only their moustaches.
Affectionately known as the "Stachepede," Grier and fellow moustachioed partiers start the day off with a makeshift float at the Bowness parade, then spend the afternoon comparing their growth and selecting the Rookie of the Year. By nightfall, everyone is rounded up and herded onto an all-moustache express.
Grier says strutting into Molly Malones and other establishments creates quite a stir. "I think it scares girls when they first see us come in," he says. "A pack of staches is quite a sight." Clipper-wielding sentinels stand ready to enforce the rules: no beards or goatees, and all hair must be trimmed to the upper lip line. In short, no handlebar moustaches for this crew. Freddy Mercury would be dismayed. For more information, go to www.stachepede.com.
BREAKFAST WITH VETERANS
Camping out overnight to garner coveted parade seats could be avoided by booking with the Royal Canadian Legion No. 1. Since as far back as 1959, members and their families have met at the crack of dawn for a buffet breakfast before taking in the parade.
Organizers set aside 250 bleacher seats along the route to catch the bagpipes, clowns and rodeo cowboys weaving through downtown. Branch president Deanna French says she’s always amazed by how many people turn up to rub shoulders with the veterans. "I often wonder where they all come from," she says.
Things start out family-centric at 7 a.m., but by the time the parade winds down, things get a bit rowdy in the hall and the Stampede shenanigans break into full swing.
HAVE A BALL
Considered a jewel of fertility by some and heralded as a regional delicacy by others, prairie oysters are a proud tradition at Bottlescrew Bills. Their annual Testicle Festival celebrates the castration of bull calves with quippy slogans such as "I went nuts," and "I had a ball," and T-shirts featuring a mournful bull with a Band-Aid over its crotch. The selection of sauces range from creamy to white wine and garlic. When asked how they taste, manager Trudi Klassen cocks an eyebrow and says, "Think of paté, but a bit gamier."
With entertainment featuring the likes of lanky alt country crooner Matt Masters and the tattooed antics of Hurricane Felix and the Southern Twisters, this year promises to be a ball-bustin’ extravaganza with plenty of beer and barbecue to go around.
AND THEY’RE OFF
The St. Louis hosts one of Calgary’s most beloved and longest running traditions – the calling of the (imaginary) horse races. From the premier to the mayor to local cronies, it’s a make-believe betting free-for-all with plenty of cold beer and fried chicken to go around. Owner Mina Plottsky says it’s a fun tradition that brings people together.
"Everyone bets among themselves and jokes around," she says. "It’s a great tradition."
She adds that eager betters will begin lining up at 8 a.m. to take in the event, and George Stevenson, the voice of the Stampede, will be on hand to call the races with his booming signature style.
And, for the adventurous, Plottsky notes that the dubious tradition of guzzling beer from cowboy boots is still very much alive at the Louis.
SAMOSAS AND COWBOYS
Brightly coloured saris, traditional dance and music highlight the Indo-Canadian Cultural Centre’s annual Stampede breakfast on Sunday, July 9. Four years ago, they began offering up samosas, pakoras and spiced chai in a richly diverse atmosphere.
Association president Vinay Dey says it’s open to anyone curious about Indian culture, and especially for those tired of pancakes and bacon. "It’s a large-scale eye-opener and a gateway to a different culture," he says.
Everyone from MLAs to visiting dignitaries to cowpokes with horses and wagons mingle in front of the building on Edmonton Trail. It’s also an alcohol-free event, which is a welcome relief for overworked livers. If you want to be guaranteed a taste, show up early – due to the event’s popularity, they ran out of food last year. |
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